4 weeks ago I lost my mum, I’m really really struggling. It was sudden and unexpected. Pneumonia took my beautiful mum away.
Im 29 and feel like i have been robbed of my precious mum. We had a very special bond, due to her losing my sister before I was born. My mumw as young and I am still in shock, rather than going forward I feel I am going backwards. I cannot believe I have survived the last 5 weeks without my mum being on this earth. She was my everything, my best friend, shopping partnet, confidant literally my whole life. I am not married nor do I have children and I feel extremely lonely. Almost part of a new group and I am the only member. I feel so shut off from anyone else who hasnt lost their mum, I feel the only person in the world right now. I cannot connect to anybody, walking down the street i just want to scream ive lost my mum! ive lost my mum! I have recently gone back to work and everyday on my lunch i drive to lay by and cry my eyes out, I howl like an animal screaming her name. its gets me through the next few hours before I can go home and do it all over again. I re live her last days over and over why didnt i read the signs! I see alot of people on hear suffering the same but many have loved ones who have suffered illness which meant they didnt argue with their loved one in the lead up. But I never got that chance to say bye or say the things I wanted to say. the constant lump in my throat is horrendous to live with. I really am struggling hard, my life has been taken my beautiful mum was my everything. I am now on antidepresents but they havent helped, id hate to think what id be like without them. When will this excruciating pain end? I want to be with her