Just lost my mum.

Coping with bereavement
#1

Hi everyone,
I lost my mum suddenly last Wednesday. She was 92 but always got on and kept busy, and I would never hover and take away her independence
I took care of her and my dad, before he went 5 years ago

Mum and I shared a house, but we still did our own thing, and we were friends.

My sister lives in another part of the country, and as all the paperwork is here, I understand it’s not easy for her, but she hasn’t given me any help with anything. I’ve arranged the funeral, contact everyone I need to, including the solicitor.
Today I think I have managed to get the latest bits done.
I have included her in everything, but she’s not bothered.

My sister and my parents had a difficult relationship, but I’m getting no support from her.
My best friend phones me every day, and I know I can phone her, my friends, neighbours and work colleagues have all been great, but with everything and lockdown. I feel very lonely.

#2

Donna2,
I’m sorry you’ve lost your Mum. I lost my Mum suddenly last year from a heart attack and pneumonia.
It is without a doubt a terrible shock to find yourself in house without a loved one when one is used to them being present.
All one can do is take it hour by hour, until it feels less raw.
Take care.

#3

Thank you so much for replying,
I’m trying to keep occupied, and perhaps when I go back to work, it might help.
I have done everything, solicitor, funeral etc. It’s a week today and everyone says how well I’ve done with the organisation, but I couldn’t bear to leave it, I just need to organise everything, so I could see where I was.

I hope you are okay, take care. x

#4

I lost my mum 2 days ago and can’t imagine life ever being bearable again. We lived together with my 2 children (I’m a single parent) and my dad. My mum and dad did not get on, it was me and mum and the girls she was my best friend as well as other parent to my children, she was my rock.

#5

Hi Fran

Life does get a little better. Not much. But the pain does lessen and you do find some things becoming enjoyable again.

If someone had told me I was about to lose my mum 20 months ago, I would have said, take me as well because I wont survive without her.

And it’s been excruciating. But i am surviving and every now and then i enjoy a tv drama, or a book, or a giggle with my daughter or a glass of wine.

I miss my mum every second of every day and I can cry at any given moment.

My mum was the life and soul. She was 74, lived with my partner, daughter and I and she did all our childcare so we could work. We lived together, laughed together and enjoyed life. We shopped together and lunched together. My mum was all I needed apart from my partner and daughter.

She suffered a sudden brain haemorrhage and slipped into a coma immediately. I turned off her life support the following day having no idea how I was going to continue to live.

Sometimes I still dont. But I am.

Life will never be the same but I congratulate myself on every day that I make it without her.

Cheryl x

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