My mum just died 2 days ago and I feel absolutely broken. We only found out about the cancer in April and didn’t get full prognosis until May, then died 28th June all happened so fast. She got so ill and weak so quickly. She passed away at home with me and my sister by her side, I had been told a few days before she had a few weeks left… Honestly I feel traumatised by seeing her die.
My baby was 12 days old when she died, she actually died on his due date. I asked to be induced two weeks early as I was worried about her dying before she got to meet him, thank god I did. She declined so quickly after my son was born can’t help but feel she was hanging on just to meet him.
I can’t get the image of her her dying out of my head it’s haunting me and it was just so horrible, please somone tell me this doesnyh haunt them forever
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Sending you a virtual hug.
I can’t imagine what your going through but wanted to send you some love and support.
Please reach out for help too xxx
Claire xxx
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Hi @Hayles,
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mum on the 12th June 2022 so it’s still incredibly raw for me too. My mums death was very sudden so I know what it’s like for them to go so unexpectedly.
I’m so glad she got to meet her grandson, it’s like she was holding on just to meet him.
I lived with my mum and was actually the one to find her which was horrific. It’s not been long but the thought of seeing her like that has lessened, it’s not completely gone and it does appear in my head everyday, whenever I see it I think of a good memory to push it away which does help. Finding or seeing someone you love so deeply die is a huge trauma and not something you’ll ever forget.
Coming on here and talking to people in the same situation has been a great help. Maybe you could also apply for bereavement counselling through Cruse.
I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to grieve you mother while looking after a newborn but your mum would be so proud of you for doing it.
Be kind to yourself and we are here for you.
Lucy x
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Hi @Hayles,
Just wanted to say sorry for your loss and for the trauma you have suffered. I recently witnessed the last day before my Mum lost her 18 month fight against cancer. She was on heavy morphine at the end so was in and out of sleep. She became quite uncomfortable at the end although the nurses were amazing. I too can’t get the image out of my head of her on her last day, and after she had just passed. I think I was (maybe still am) traumatized by what I saw. On one hand you have to be there for your Mum, but to see what we see is extremely difficult to take.
I would say the image of my Mum on her last day has faded a little in 4 weeks, feelings not quite so raw. I have moved through anger and guilt and now just feel so sad that she is no longer with us and won’t get to see my youngest grow to be an adult. She did so much with my children, I think maybe they are a little traumatized by having seen her fleetingly on her last day. I wonder if I shouldn’t have made them ‘say goodbye’ in person as I have perhaps made it more difficult for them.
So sorry that you lost your Mum so quickly. Hoping that you can gradually lose the raw feelings. Sending sincere condolences.
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Hello.
I’m so sorry to read about you mums passing. It’s so very hard. I think your mum waited to see her little grandson too!
I lost my mum at Christmas, and can’t believe it’s been over six months now. I feel just the same as I did when she passed away and I struggle through every day. Everyone is different and for you, I think having your little baby will help. I’m sure you will see your mum in him every day and I hope that will bring some comfort for you as he grows up.
I know this site will always be here for you with lots of kid and lovely people to chat with when you feel the need. Everyone says it does get easier and I try to think of that every day but I don’t think that getting easier thing is anything any of us can rush and it probably comes in it’s won time and differently for each of us. I hope that your getting easier time isn’t too far away.
Take care.
X
xxxx