Just lost my wonderful 95 year old mum

My mum lived in her own house right up until her death in hospital on 3/12/18. She remained very independent and lived on her own right up to the end. Just living 3 miles away, I spent anything up to 4 days a week staying with her and the rest up the week in my own house. She was pretty amazing for her age and I guess because of that, it was easy to imagine that she’d always be there. She seemed able to recover from most of the unpleasant illnesses including a mild stroke and pneumonia which old age has a habit of throwing at you. She was my soulmate, my best friend and loved to accompany me on her mobility scooter when I took my dog for walks. She continued to live in the house we moved into in 1961 when we moved to this country from N. Ireland when I was 5. So the house holds lots of memories for me. I don’t have a large circle of friends but have recently joined a couple of social groups in the hope to rectify that, although I don’t find making new friends very easy. I don’t think my mums death has really hit me yet, and I am hating the idea that the house I’ve known and loved most of my life will soon belong to somebody else. I fortunately have two daughters neither of which live very far away, but although we are very close they have their own lives to cope with and their own circle of friends. I have a sister (8 years my senior), who lives about 3 hours drive from me. The age gap means we aren’t particularly close and she never had the same level of closeness to my mum as I did. I am wondering how I’m going to cope now that my mum will no longer involve such a large part of my life.

Hi Silverb 19,so sorry you have lost your mum,it doesnt mater what age our loved ones are when they pass,we just want to keep them here with us forever ,she sounds like a strong lady in her life,i can only think she would want you to be as strong as you can be too,i know easy said,and your relationship sounds so strong too,the more we loved the more we grieve,its early days in your grief,its 9 months since my husband passed and i still havent found the new normal so to speak,life still feels strange to me,and i dont think of the future,just one day at a time,i never thought i would cope ,yet i am somehow.The sadness goes on but we muddle through our own way.Take care x

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