Just Lost

Hiya, I lost my mam the end of August and everyone keeps telling me it gets easier with time but the longer I go on without speaking or seeing my mam is just even more painful, does it or will it get easier???

Hi. Tan. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. It’s hard and so painful. But it’s far too early to expect any real relief from the pain. Grief is a natural process. When we lose someone so close and whom we loved it’s bound to happen.
An important thing is to be kind to yourself. Many will tell you all sorts of things to ‘cheer you up’. It’s just not possible to be ‘cheered up’ at this stage. Let emotions come. Cry if you want. We all express emotions in different ways. One thing is sure, ‘bottling up’ emotions will not help one bit.
The answer to your question is emphatically yes. It can get easier. It depends so much on your attitude about what has happened. But whatever I say at this moment will sound hollow to you. Give it more time.
The old cliche about time healing is true for many. Not so true for some.
When my wife passed it was the end of my world at that moment. But slowly I am coming to terms with the loss. Imperceptibly maybe, but the light does get brighter.
Please come back and talk when you want to. We do listen. Blessings.

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Thank you, so sorry to hear about your wife and yeh I have to say I really can’t see how it gets easier at the minute but suppose it’s too soon to be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s the little things like going to phone her etc am still doing that and I have a great bunch of support around me but like you say am not in the mood to be cheered up and infact am actually feeling guilty if I even smile let alone laugh, it really is a horrible feeling but thank you for your lovely words, it is nice reading others and knowing am not alone with my struggles x

My dad passed away on 28 August this year and I still hope to hear my dad’s voice on the other end of the phone when I call my mum and dads house. Also, my dad had a knack of calling me when I was in the bath. Yup, even getting washed is an emotional painful time for me. I still can’t believe it happened. It was my son’s 18th birthday today and I’m sitting here in utter bits