Hi. Im mew to group. I lost both my parents within 4 weeks of each other. I was estranged from my dad as he was abusive. We found him dead on the floor. After telling my mum who was in a care home she gave up as he was the love of her life . I see my dead dad most days in other peoples faces…i look away then back and his face is there. Is this normal? I never see my mums face and i loved her with all my heart. Feel like im going mad xx
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Hello @Loulou1967, thank you for bravely starting this thread. I’m so sorry for the loss of your parents - sadly, many of our members have experienced the loss of someone and will understand some of what you are going through.
Grief can trigger many different emotions, and lots of our members will identify with your feelings of worrying about going mad. We have a support page called, “Am I normal?” which you might find reassuring to read.
Hopefully someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
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Hi loulou
I’m not sure there is any normal in this situation. Similarly to you i lost both parnets within weeks.
My dad was not unexpected, but mum was a bolt from the blue. She died of a broken heart, my dad was her world.
My dads death sort of got lost in the aftermath of mum dying so suddenly and us having a house to clear.
Grief is a strange thing, it plays horrible tricks on our minds and hearts.
Take your time to process the trauma you’re going through and be kind to yourself. x
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Thankyou. Xx
Thank you xx
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I really believe that you need to look after yourself and im doing that i think. What i find the hardest is people dont ask me how im feeling anymore…like everything is healed as its been 7 months. I want to scream and say please ask me about my mum, i want to say i miss her so badly it physically hurts. I think about her so much and all i want is just 1 more day with her.it takes my breathe away. Im a nurse and i often find i just cant bear seeing people of her age lying in bed as it reminds me of my beautiful mum. I can hardly breath with the pain.
My dad is harder as ive been estranged from him for so long but because of my mums obsession with him he was always talked about, mostly in a bad way from my perspective because of the hurt he caused us all. Then recently i found his computer while clearing out his house and i found a picture of him as a little boy . He was so sweet, innocent and vulnerable that my heart broke for him. So many questions un answered…why did he do what he did? Why did he not love me? When did things change for him to turn into such an unhappy and unpleasant man? My mind just goes over and over it everyday. I dont know how to resolve this.
I totally get the first part of this where you say people don’t ask how you are anymore. It’s like it’s all done now so I should move on but I can’t, it’s almost like other people don’t care what’s happened.
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