Just need to vent

I lost my dad my hero the end of March. He was 68 and suffered from Alzheimer’s. Last Christmas my mum put him in a home. Initially she told me it was just respite and not permanent care. From the start I wish my mum had been honest with me. The first day I visited him I hardly recognised him. He was so upset as my dad himself didn’t know he was going into a care home. remembering him there I have so many bad memories. He used to say he wanted to go home and it just felt so cruel as he was not at that time at the advanced stage. From then on things got worse. He couldn’t settle and because of his behavior they sectioned him. Before he went into a psychiatrist hospital he could walk hold a conversation and feed himself. All they done to him was mess with his medication trying different drugs. Again because he was too knowing nothing seemed to work. All he wanted to do is go home. The doctor spoke to me and said they would stop all meds and try a new tablet. Unfortunately this doctor left and he was handed over to someone else. The plan changed yet again and he was put on this really strong drug. From this he was bed bound. He lost a lot of weight and then stopped eating. I question was it the tablet doing that to him. From then on because he stopped eating they just gave up on him. When things were starting to look a bit more positive it went downhill. I was never able to attend meetings. Wish I did now. Then from out of the blue my family visited me and told me he got 3 weeks to live. I couldn’t believe it. He passed then the end of March. They stopped all fluids and food. It was so awful to see my dad slowly deteriorate. He was my world. I wish I got more involved with the meetings and also question if he hadn’t been put in a home would he be with me now. I can’t accept he has gone. Things happened so quick I can’t get my head around it. Sorry for rambling it’s just so hard to accept. I miss him so much. My life is just not the same anymore.

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Hi I’m so sorry for your loss I know how you feel ,our lovely daughter went into hospital last December, she seemed to deteriot very quickly, they gave her 2days to live I could not believe and that’s what she had, I just think they gave up on her I wish I had done more at the time , she was 46years old and now I have to put up with all the suffering that I done more . hugs Maddie

Hi joey
I took my nan home and cared for her I feel I was not given answer
Told the truth by family and doctors
She went down hill fast I don’t have words for how I feel at times I just want something to take the pain away the guilt I feel could I have changed anything I will never know but one thing I’m sure of she knew I loved her and I’m sure your dad knew that xxx

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