I think you have said what most of us would say. When my Peter died nearly seven years ago I didn’t drink but I ate, I would eat jam and bread, be frying fish at 10 in the morning, getting up in the middle of the night to make toast and soup, it never ended, I lived on Marks and Spencer’s ready meals and ate chocolates and chocolate cakes it never ended. I put on 3 stone in weight, my back ached and my knees ached, it was just comfort eating. I joined Slimming World in 2020 just before the pandemic and then the club closed so I had not lost any weight but I knew how the system worked and I did try but the chocolates and the cakes won again.
I say goodnight love to Peter and say good morning love when I wake up, it is like being a Hamster on a treadmill going round and round.
I do the gardening, clean the house, change the bed and that is it, there is only so much cleaning and gardening that can be done every day. If it wasn’t for the pandemic I would have gone out to my Friendship group, we would have been going on a coach tour last summer and this summer but it has closed down.
The other week I decided to start knitting again, you can’t eat chocolates and cakes with a pair of knitting needles in your hands, I have now got a system going, in the morning I do what needs doing like gardening or washing etc. in the afternoon I sit outside if the weather is nice and knit.
Once the pandemic is over and we know for sure what we are and aren’t allowed to do then I will be getting a bus to the next towns and having a walk round and have afternoon tea in a nice little cafe, but until then, I am staying put.
This is not the life I expected to end my days with, alone, we had planned for so many things in our retirement and when Peter took early retirement at 60 the same as I did, he started being ill so for the last eight years of his life he was an invalid. At least we got to spend every day together until he died.
There are thousands like you and I, who just live day to day, never plan for anything apart from a GP appointment (when you can get one that is) but on we go.