On the 4 th of December I lost my wife, we had been together since we were 15, 47 years. I just feel so empty. House is empty,life is empty,heart is broken. I just keep breaking down and crying. It’s so difficult to deal with the every day things that we used to do as a team. Just going from room to room and trying to deal with her precious bits n bobs is heart breaking… how can I Cary on like this…
Hi, what your feeling is totally normal, all I can say is only do what you can, if you want to do nothing do that, if you want to sit in front of the TV all day do that, if you want to stay in bed do that, I am 7 months only & my home is exactly as my husband left it, I don’t want to move anything so I havnt, that may change in the future it may not.
Bereavement is one of the worst traumatic things that can happen to you and the shock is incredible, if you manage to sleep a bit at night and eat you are doing wel
In the early days I read a passage i saw on the called “water bugs and dragonflies” it is simple but helped me.
This will be a good place for you to talk,
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Thanks for the reply. It’s only a week since the funeral. I can’t make any sense of things. The hurt in my chest is so immense, feels like it’s gonna burst. I have left stuff just as it was. All the personal little bits are still the same just makes me cry to touch them. Everything has a memory attached to it. I am not sure this heart will ever go away.
Yes I had your feeling and now 7 months on its as bad as it was on some days but then better then it was on other days.
We.ve had an awful shock in addition to missing our loved ones and not understanding where have they gone?
I hold on to my belief that it is only a temporary parting and we do meet up again & at that time all will be well, we don’t operate our bodies and dont even know what’s inside our bodies so it makes sense to me we are just existing in our bodies until the body breaks down and we are released and met by our loved ones.
We have our memories although Painful now will sustain us going forward, I have loads of photos I want in years to come to remember all the good times.
At the moment I think it’s Cry & Cry and just think about the next hour and know that how you feel is because of the love you felt which hasn’t ended, for all we know our loved ones may be watching us & sending there love to us to spur us on.
Hi. Jon. Flower Garden is so right. Never mind what others think you do what you feel is right for you. No one, no one at all can foresee how they will feel in such an awful trauma. That’s what it is, a life trauma.
We can only take it day by day even hour by hour. In the beginning, (it’s over a year now), I too shed tears every day. I still have my moments but a good cry will never hurt. Nature has many ways of relieving the pain and crying is one of them. ‘Men don’t cry’!! Oh no? Well this one does and it worries me not a bit. Nothing, platitudes, good advice, talking or jollying you along will help at this moment. Believe me when I say give it time. Time may not heal such s deep wound, but it does take the edge off the pain. Everyone on here knows so you are in good company.
Take care and try and look after yourself.
Hello, Jon,
I am so sorry that you have lost your wife, my husband passed away last August. Just when I think I am accepting the fact, reality hits me anew. It is the most awful feeling, I do understand. I can thoroughly recommend the book, “Waterbugs and Dragonflies”, an extract from it was read by our son at my Stan’s funeral, it is beautiful. It was written originally for children to explain death.
Thank you, Flower Garden, you are so right.
Love,
MaryL x