Just want my old life back...

I know I am asking for the impossible but, since I lost my partner Richard 6 weeks ago, there is not a day that goes past that I dont go to pieces just begging for my-our old life back…I am hating the day ( same date 11th April ) when 4 years ago I was told " sorry to have to tell you but you have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis ) because if I hadn’t of been diagnosed with this at the late age of 64, I-we ( Richard ) would still be living in our old house back in a village in Bedfordshire complete with stairs and a bath…It is back home where we both were our happiest, a gorgeous back garden, 3 gorgeous dogs, and we both had our health…We we not have needed to give up this house if I hadnt been diagnosed with MS…Even after moving to this idyllic spot in Dorset we lost our dog number 3 within 7 months of moving here, now Richard as gone too…I know things may have still been the same even if we had stayd back home, as Richard could still have died but, at least he would have been in the home we-he was happiest in for the past 17 years…I know I made a big mistake in our moving so far away, especially that neither of us had any connections to Dorset, but I thought we would start a fresh life, how wrong can one be…


sadly Jackie.we all would want our old lives and obviously our partners back.its horrible experience to go through.and sadly lots on here focus on them selves and seem forget most of us are in the same boat,without any oars and a big hole in,life seems so pointless at present and nothing we say can ease the pain we feel.some are able handle this situation and seem to get some sort of routine back and live some sort of life.me like you and lots of other havent got the stength or desire to cope with this heart breaking loss.regards ian


Hi Jackie,

Lots of people want to move to Dorset. It is a beautiful part of the world if you get in the countryside and want to enjoy an active way of life. So I can imagine it made perfect sense at the time to move there because all you need is the love of your partner.
The death of a partner turns your world upside down and all the dreams of a future together are no more.
With hindsight we can always see what we could have done. I can do that myself now.
Now that my partner and both my parents have passed away I live on my own again away from the rest of my family. I am relying on friends to get me out of my isolation. I never wanted to think about the future without my wife even through the years of her cancer treatment. The shock even after 3 months since her passing is overwhelming sometimes, but I am trying hard to improve things.
Anyway, I will wish you well for the future. Having a form of MS adds even more problems to all that you have suffered.

Take care,


Hi Jackie. I am so sorry for your loss and the added worry of your illness. Grief and being unwell is not a good combination. I can well understand your worries.
Is it not possible at all for you to move back to where you was happy or nearer to your family.
Don’t give up on owning a dog again they are training dogs to be with owners with all sorts of illnesses/disabilities and finding that it does work.
I’m sure at the moment your head is all over the place but when you can think again start to plan your future for what is best for you.
My thoughts are with you

Oh yes, I hope and pray my dog owning days aren’t-wont be over, to be honest apart from walking, driving a dog to the vets, dog groomers I can do everything else that is needed…I can still feed and water a dog, give a dog plenty of kisses and cuddles, even play toys with a dog…I know there still could be a future, just seems so far away, or might cot ever be in a situation for it to happen, I am a firm believer in " where there is life, there is a hope…"

Hi Jackie I am a firm believer in that saying also and that’s a good place to start. Living in hope of finding ourselves again as hard as it might seem at the moment. A dog would be ideal, something to give love and care for. My two have literally saved me. I am never without them and they are such a comfort. I cuddle and kiss mine all the time. I don’t worry about dog groomers, never have, as I groom, wash and care for my dogs myself. There are mobile dog groomers though as well as mobile vets. Don’t get a dog that is too active and only needs limited walking. I walk miles with mine as they are active dogs and I enjoy walking
You have the right attitude about having a future again. I firmly believe this also. this does not mean that I will feel any less love for Brian. .Stay strong. Pat xxx