My husband died 3 weeks ago after being diagnosed with a brain tumour in March. I know we were lucky as we had 25 amazing years together and some months to spend time together and say what we wanted to say to each other. I also know it hasn’t really hit me yet.
I’ve been contacted by the funeral home to pick up his ashes so have been looking at all the various memorial items etc which is overwhelming. I just wondered what others have found comforting in terms of keepsakes (either things you’ve bought or had made or something else?) to feel their loved ones close? It doesn’t have to be something with their ashes but the choice of products and items is making my head spin and I don’t know where to start. I just miss him so much.
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So sorry to hear you’ve also lost you husband to cancer. My husband died last Wednesday aged 43 so it’s early days for me.
A couple of days after he died, I was looking at an urn for his ashes (I wanted it to be a spurs one). I got myself in a total muddle and it was delivered today. Not want I want atall so I’ve now got the faff and cost of sending it back. I’m going to try and take my time now and he can sit in his box until I’ve sorted it properly.
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I’m so sorry about your loss, I know people always say this, but it’s so sad for us all on this site. I am going to pick up my husbands ashes next week, and feel so emotional about doing this. I was undecided about how to manage them, garden of rest, take them home ? I was not sure to begin with but I am bringing them home now, how have you all managed this very sad last tribute to your loved ones? Xx
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@TrustedLeaf Hi there, so sorry to hear of the passing of your husband, it’s hard to try and make decisions so early in this. It’s been almost a year for me and my wife’s ashes are still in the tube the funeral home provided. It looks like Avery special single malt and I always felt she would have liked that being such a big fan of that tipple. As @Nori says it’s easy to get what you feel is right then change your mind, take your time, it will come to you. If you feel you have to move him to something more acceptable then I would say get what feels right now, you can always decide whether that is appropriate as time goes on. I found as early in this as you are that making a decision was the important thing, then I could move forward to make other decisions.
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Hi @Kathy6 so sorry that you are in the same storm as the rest of us. I brought a solid oak sideboard and place my husband urn there with his photograph above. We light a candle most nights and I have a little scatter teddy box which when I am ready will scatter at lake Garda our favourite place. In time which could be another 30 years my wish is to be with my husband and my son will scatter us together. In the meantime my husband can be with us at home. His castle which he chose to live with us. Xx
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So sorry for your loss. Initially I wanted to do everything, ashes jewelry, memory bears, memory quilt in all his clothes etc. But have done none of them.
His ashes still sit on the side, I know what I’m doing with them and when.
His father had three trees planted in his name in his favourite place.
I didn’t know what to do and I noticed I changed my mind often so chose to do nothing until I was sure.
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My lovely Steves ashes are waiting for me at the funeral directors. When I am brave enough I will bring him home put him in a nice urn, have a ring made with some of his ashes but until I go he is going to stay at home with me. When we are both gone I want us made into a firework to be let of on the clffs in Whitby. Xc
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Thank you, I think you are all right and to take time to get it right, he so wanted to come home and now he can x
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When I got the call that my wife’s ashes were ready for collection last December there was sheet ice everywhere and freezing fog. I walked through that up the hill and went in and got her back. Outside it had started to rain, sleet and hail, the warm light of the pub across the road called me in and I took her over there, put her on a seat and had one last drink with her. It’s a memory that I’ll keep close, I did what I felt was right at the time.
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That sounds lovely I’m glad it worked out so well for you, wish me luck next week I’m sure he will be glad to be home again x
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My husband of 42 year died 1 year ago tomorrow 
. Still miss him so much. Have slowly begun to get through the days and nights with difficulty but friends and family have helped to get where i am now. I took months before i selected an oak urn that actually incorporates a picture frame. I also bought a crystal candle holder that has some his ashes within it which is lit every night. My husband always used to joke that if i ever went somewhere that he had never been i was to take a small amount of his ashes and scatter them, so i also have a little container that i will take little of him wherever i go. Once its my own time to join him i have told my family we have to be put together and inter with rest of family members.
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Hi all, I’m sorry for all who are grieving, I’m a bit different in that my Husband is. Buried, he wasnt cremated, we have gone through the.process of getting a headstone for him, and it was.put on his grave a couple of weeks ago, it is lovely, we chose the words, to go on it between us, our Sons and family, first time i seen it , it really unsettled me, i cried, but I’ve been back a few times to see.it, and I know it will get easier. I hope ,it just felt like it was final.
I lost him last year, July 2022, so i still have my panicky moments , but feel we have done him proud., we all have our way of doing things, having loved ones ashes in their homes, if it brings comfort , to them. Or however they wish, in memory of our loved ones .
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Hi Nori, so sorry to hear of your recent loss, you have joined a good forum where we are all at different stages. My husband and i talked about where his ashes would be for his final resting place. There is a local cemetery near me who has an area for ashes only, and i have purchased a plot large enough for us both. My grandparents are buried here also and there is a beautiful view of the sea from his resting place. I can go visit when i feel able and weather permitting i sometimes take a sandwich and have my lunch with him while telling him all the family news. I bought the plot soon after he left me but in the end i did not buy an urn but got a beautiful box from the undertaker. You will make the right decision for you when you are ready. Take your time , i did and finally was happy with the end result.
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Just been reading some of you story’s, and they are heart breaking, brings me to tears at times, some of your losses are so young indeed, again heart-breaking too, this is the price we all pay for love and loving some one, and it never easy for any of us to go through theses losses, and still try to hold our selfs together , body and soul, crying a lot and remember our loves dose help, as our love for them dose not die even thought they are now gone, from our lifes, but never from our hearts.
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You are right there, this grief is the price we pay for loving someone so much, so I guess it will never go away, I’m glad I had that someone 
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Firstly sorry for your loss, I lost my partner 6 weeks ago and I sort great comfort having his ashes back home with me, I choose an urn that is so him 
looks like a set of books (all of which he had read) it took me so long to find one I was happy with but it’s these little things that are making me smile. I’ve also had teddy bears made and cushions from his shirts for my children, his mam and dad and myself and have ordered some ashes jewellery. It’s odd I lost my dad 5 years ago and felt I didn’t need any of these things but with Lee it just makes me feel he is close by all the time x I will share my bears below for you to see x
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Can I ask where people get the urns from?
I had mine for myself and Lee’s parents from Amazon x
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