I’m so pleased to hear that having the ashes home is a comfort and I hope I feel the same when I collect my husbands next week. thank you for sharing, lots of love x
I got mine from the funeral home… they had a big choice xx
Good choice on Etsy.
That’s really helpful. I was thinking about the same kind of things but just can’t decide so it’s lovely to hear you are finding them a comfort. Thank you
Hi I bought my husbands ashes home and decided to make 2 memory bears out of some of his clothes, I put inside each bear some of is ashes I keep one bear in the bedroom and the other sits in his chair in the lounge, I bought my urn from Amazon I’ve kept a small amount of ashes so we can be scattered together when my time comes the rest he wanted to be scattered out to sea which was honoured by the RNLI
Hi everybody having a sad night so wanted to catch up on the forum.My sister in law lost her parents within 3 months of each other 2021/2022.Their children had a mini engraved garden seat made in memory if their grandparents and buried some of their ashes next to it.Then they bouĝht their mum a beautiful necklace specially for holding some of their ashes so they are close at all times.I am a bit different my husband died suddenly 2011 I knew he would want burying so I got a lovely headstone.My sons ex partner who we were all very close to died 2019.Her parents gave some of her ashes to my son and we had a little memorial stone made and placed them on my hubbys grave.Unbelievably my beloved son our only child died last year my heart is broken beyond words so he is now with his dad and his special girl.I then made the decision to have my name put on the headstone as well that didnt go down to well with my siblings but they accepted it.I just felt that I wanted to be able to arrange it while I was still here to get that feeling that we were all together which we will be one day. Life is so very very hard but I do try to get out and about as much as possible to get through each day.My love to you all and I feel sure whatever decision you all make about your loved ones ashes is the right one and of course it doesnt have to be rushed
Sorry I have practically written a novel but I have stopped crying so will try to get some sleep now.So good to talk xxxxx
Some nights sleep is impossible isn’t it, I’m so sad to hear your story but it’s lovely to hear how you are coping with all your loss. You have been very brave and I hope you get comfort from how you have been able to remember your loved ones. I hope to be able to arrange my husband’s final remains so I can get peace and show my love for him. Thank you and sending lots of love x
Such lovely tributes, I hope to find a fitting way to honour my husband once I collect his ashes, lots of love xxx
Morning Marg and Kathy had another sleepless night so not feeling great I also had three necklaces made with some of my husbands ashes for my two daughters and myself so wherever I go he’s with me x
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost my Philmore unexpectedly on Valentine’s Day this year. I gave him my card and presents and three hours later he left me. We were almost 26 years together from which we were 15 years and two months very happily married. He was 65. I have my Philmore’s urn upstairs in our bedroom, so I can talk, hug, and talk to him. It helps me to survive another day and night. I have also a cushion with his face next to me so I can cuddle and kiss him. Sending love and hugs.
My funeral director recommended Amazon, which, at the time, seemed so disrespectful to me, don’t know why. I found choosing an urn really difficult, partly because I’ve found any decisions are so hard without my husband. Take your time, you’ll know when it’s the right one.
I lost my husband 3 January this year after 37 wonderful years, Christmas Eve was our wedding anniversary, Christmas Day we spent with family one of the best, then 29 December he took ill with kidney problems after a few days in hospital he was getting better but then on the 3 Jan his heart just stopped he was texting me saying he was looking forward to seeing me and hopefully being nearer to coming home is last text 16past10
That’s so very sad, thinking he could get home, my husband was looking forward to getting home, it was all he wanted to do, but things moved so fast with his cancer, that he never made it. I feel like I failed him, but there was nothing anyone could do sadly. Keep strong, I know how hard it is I don’t feel strong but have to carry on, lots of love xx
My Philmore died of undiagnosed advanced kidney cancer. Because he went so quickly even the ambulance people thought he had a heart attack. His last words to me were that he loved me and then he collapsed and was never conscious again. I still see his terrified face as he knows that he cannot make it. Since then I “survived” his birthday (about three weeks after he died), his funeral, Easter, and my birthday and I will “survive” the 6th of December (I always bought him a small present), the 14th of December (would be our 16th wedding anniversary), the 24th of December (German Christmas Philmore would get a small present), the 25th of December (yes, another card and more presents). I would do something special for the 31. of December and we would celebrate twice at the beginning of New Year (England is one hour behind Germany). I will be on my own - there might be a few phone calls, emails, or cards from friends but I will be ok. I have a few books to read and DVDs to watch but will try to avoid all Christmas Carols (Philmore’s favourite songs, two were even played at his funeral). And no Christmas Carol movie. Sending love and hugs.
My husband died in early September his ashes are at home until such time I am in a fit state to know what to do with them. My daughter and I have sent some ashes off to have pendants made. Never thought I would but at the moment I get some comfort from him being close.
We all have similar stories but with me I was really expecting him back home the shock to have a phone call 10 minutes later to say could I come to the hospital I really couldn’t take it all in I remember driving like a mad man the hospital is an hours drive away only to be told he had already died 10 months later and I’m still in limbo all I know is I’m one day nearer to being with him this is my life from now on when did we become I
Hello my thoughts are with you. Such early days. My lovely husband Brian died in March two weeks after diagnosis so very little time to take it all in and accept. I must confess to finding the last couple of months worse than the first six - probably because it is winter and dark very early which makes me feel very lonely.
Sorry this wasn’t meant to be all about me!!! I am replying because I found a wonderful company called Infinity who are based in Plymouth that have made me some wonderful memory bears out of some of Brian’s favourite shirts, jeans and polo shirts. I have kept 4 but given a few away to people close to Brian and who miss him too. In a strange way these bears do give me comfort.
Thinking of you.
Like yourself I wanted something to ‘hold on to’. I lost my darling Rosie at the end of June and I felt I couldn’t just let go. When I received her ashes back from the Funeral Directors I didn’t even want to part with them. Rosie was a believer and wanted her ashes buried in her mothers grave which is sixty five miles away and to my way of thinking, too far for me to cling to on a daily basis. So I compromised and as she had left the decision to me as in her words ‘you’re the one who is left behind and have to deal with these things’.
I built a very large trellis and fixed it to my workshop end which is facing the back of the bungalow. I planted a climbing Rose below which I put half of Rosie’s ashes. The other half I took to her Mums grave and buried there. I’m a non believer but if there is a hereafter and she is with her Mum then great. I however have something tangible that I can care for and nurture knowing that a part of Rosie will always be with me and that makes me happy. When I’m down I can go into the garden and talk to her which I do regularly. I hope you find what suits you. I’m on my own now physically but part of Rosie will be with me until I leave this house permanently.
@Willow11 thank you so much. That sounds like a lovely idea. I know what you mean about it being difficult in the short dark days and I’ve also heard things can feel harder after a few months once you’ve got through the busy-ness of the early days. Sending you love x
It was the year anniversary of Martin’s passing on Tuesday and I finally decided what I wanted to do with his ashes. I have been really scared about bringing them home. Our funeral director is a family friend has kept them for me until I felt strong enough to make a decision. I always wanted to have our ashes scattered together when I’m gone but also to have somewhere to go to remember him. I’ve had the ashes divided into some to keep with me and some to scatter now. I’ve planted a tree with some, going to have a piece of jewellery made and scattered to rest on the beach & coast path in front of our house. There’s a part on the beach where we took a photograph on one of our first dates, and this is where most of the ashes are. I walk on the beach or coast path most days so this feels the right choice. I hope you find what feels right for you