Labours of Love

The hours grieving can hang very heavy. Has anyone ever started a labour of love to help fill the hours in a positive way? I have renewed some crafting hobbies and have ideas of projects to make in memory of loved ones. I do find walking helpful and have looked at a canal which is 28 miles long and which I have family associations with and I think completing the canal walk might be a good thing to do. My husband has an engraved bench in our garden in memory of a family member and he grows lovely flowers around it. I would be interested in different ideas. XXX

Hello fellow Rambler, we too are ramblers although we had to break away last year as my husband was becoming weaker and slower so we walked together at his pace. He was a walks leader though so it was very sad. Before he died he asked me to always take him with me when I walked and I do. I carry a photo of him and talk to him, telling him about the things around me just in case he can’t see it all for himself. We also have allotments and I have kept his on and designing it how he wanted it for this coming season. Keeps me very busy but I like that, it is certainly a labour of love. I think the 28 mile walk would be something to aim for, if I lived near you I would do it with you, but we have no canals any where near us so I’m not in your area. I am going to look into having a kissing gate or seat put on one of the walks in his name. I voluntarily look after an area of ground locally and I’ve been approached about having a memorial plaque put there for Brian, that would be wonderful. I’m sure there will be more idea’s.

Hi, I’m keeping myself busy with decorating the house and doing jobs I think he’d approve of. The weather the last few days has been gorgeous so getting outside and enjoying the beautiful day, walking on the beach with the dog and doing jobs on the garden. I’m creating a new rose bed in my front garden as his 40 th birthday he’d had some rose bushes he’d asked for and my friend has bought me some more roses in his memory for me. I thought a bed of all his roses would be a good memorial to him, and if I ever move I’ll dig them up and take them with me!

Hi Belladoo we have been coping in the same way. I was decorating rooms in the house within weeks. I also walk on the beach with the dogs and working in the garden. Lovely idea the rose beds. I’m working on my husbands allotment so doing similar to you, He loved his pond/wildlife area, so thinking of idea’s for that. Walking, gardening are excellent therapies. Would love to hear other peoples way of coping. More idea’s wanted.

I’ve been attending a U3A drawing group. I’ve only used drawing as planning for a watercolour but this is just drawing.
It has given me the confidence to attempt the perfect portrait of my wife, from photos obviously.
I will probably go back to watercolours soon.
I’m hoping to join a class for lino prints.

Thank you Pattidot and Belladoo for your replies. Your ideas are lovely and really moving. I was so touched Pattidot that you said you would do the canal walk with me; it was such a kind, understanding thought. I might be near it next week and I thought I could walk a little bit of it and have a think. I am going to send off for a booklet about the whole walk. I just find doing something in memory provides a little spark and I then try to develop it a bit more. When I walk I also think that my Mum is with me as she always said walking was a good thing to do. It does provide comfort. Thank you for your replies I am really grateful for them and I am going to try to continue to think about different ideas. I did wonder about a digital photo book of Mum but I think I will leave that until later. I have seen some done and they are lovely as you can design them all yourself.

Like Yorkshire Lad I was going to do a painting class as my husband painted and when I let his painting equipment go I kept some things back just in case I wanted to have a go. However the class near me turned out to be abstract painting and I am not a fan. At the moment I keep very busy with my dogs, walking, gym, garden and the allotment and of course now it’s seed sowing time, then growing Tomato’s and cucumbers so the greenhouse will become my second home until September. I love dancing but any classes are at night and I don’t go out at night now.
There must be lots of other things to do. Don’t forget there are charities that need help. The library usually has a list of voluntary work as well as clubs. Might be worth taking a look.

Thank you for replying Yorkshire Lad. The perfect portrait of your dear wife would be a lovely labour of love and you would be able to frame it and display it at home. I must thank you for your other postings which I have been reading and let you know that you have really helped me. The weather doesn’t look so good this weekend so not so good for walking.

Thank you Pattidot for your suggestions. My brother has been busy on his allotment as a tribute for Mum as Mum used to help him with it. He says I can visit when he has got it looking good. It is near his house and he likes going there. I have got a bird table by our lounge window and the number of birds visiting seems to be increasing. I like to watch them darting back and forth. I hope your weekend will be OK the weather doesn’t look so good so I am going to do some indoor things.

I can recommend the allotment, wonderful therapy, give it a go if you live near enough, offer to help if your brother will allow it. The allotment people themselves are a tonic. Always a friendly smile, chat or wave.
Terrible day today, no walking or allotment, so I took myself off to the gym. This is saved for the bad days.

Back to top