Today for the first time since Tim died I had to go out in my car. The last few times I drove Tim was with me. I didn’t expect it to affect me as it did. By the time I had got to my sons house tears were streaming down my face and my heart was pounding. Both my sons live in Coventry and I am currently staying with one of them. I have never driven round a big city before as I live in the country with not much traffic. Anyway I had to negotiate my way through city traffic in order to take my son where he needed to be. I could feel Tim telling me to calm down and not to panic. It worked and now I feel quite proud of me for doing something I have never done before and I am sure Tim will be very proud of me.
I just will not drive in cities unless there is no alternative. My first choice always is to drive into my local town and then its bus or train. I think you must be a very confident driver. It seems a long time ago since I did anything like that.
That’s not a little step. It’s a very long stride.
Hi. So sorry for your loss. It’s such a big thing facing something head on that you’re in dread of. Well done for the driving…pat yourself on the back. I too am finding that I am nervous about certain things…I think it’s an anxiety response to grief…loss if confidence. Initially I wasn’t keen on driving but that has come right. Take it steady, one small step at a time…seems like you’re doing really well. Xx
Thank you YorkshireLad, before Tim got ill he would do most of the driving and I was happy to let him. Then when I had to drive him to hospital and doctors appointments I realised how much he liked to be " chauffeured " around, so I did all the driving but only around small towns and villages. I really am not a confident driver, never have been but needs must. It took a huge emotional toll on me yesterday, a long stride as you said but I like to think that Tim would be proud of me
Thank you Annette, I must admit it was really brave of me, I would, in the past, normally try to avoid driving, expecting Tim to do it. But now he’s not here I will have to continue being brave. During his short illness Tim couldn’t drive but he loved being " chauffeured around" he was even contemplating buying me a chauffeurs cap. Even though he was so poorly he never lost his sense of humour, just one of the many things that made him so special.
Yes there’s certainly alot of changes in our daily lives once our partner has gone. I need to sell one more car…two I’ve already dealt with. This last one I’m finding it hard to arrange but I know it has to go especially since I’m moving soon and don’t need an extra car in tow!
Keep going…every step is an achievement…I know how hard it is. Xx