How we will look back on Christmas past and wish and wish for them to be back, sadly never again. Sorry, that just hit me x
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My wifeās funeral is on 11/12 so thatās going to be tough every year! Iām dreading Xmas day morning and night !
I have amazing family around me to look out for me.
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Thinking of you Cat_fan
Itāll be hard for you on the 11th but youāll find the strength
Iām pleased you have amazing family folks thatāll watch your back
Paul always had my back and now Iām lost
Take care
Xx
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Dreadful when the one person that had your back is gone. I hope it goes ok for you cat. At least as well as it can do.
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Wishing everyone the best Xmas that you can, with the beautiful memories of Xmas past with our beloved.
Take care everyone x
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@Bess1
Thankyou, amazing family and friends there for me,
I will get through the funeral next week and then find a new normal, whatever that is ! She is all around me in my home and I find that a constant comfort, she would want me to pick up the pieces and get on and fill the hole she left behind with love and happy memories of her.
I loved her with all my heart (and I know she did love me the same) and it tore me apart watching her get so poorly, I know she is at peace now and pain free. I will do Christmas as she would have wanted and move forward day by day!
I do hope that you too can fill that huge void that your loved one has left behind with lovely memories, Iām sure he would want that for you.
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Hi Cat -_fan
Yes Paul wouldāve wanted that for me
But Iām afraid at the moment for me itās easier said than done
Like your wife Paul is all around me we moved 10 days before he died
He lived to see me in this house ( 7 months in the planning) he knew if things went wrong Iād be busy here which he thought would help me through
I keep myself ābusyā but Paul wouldāve also loved it here so bitter sweet
I hear him all the time helping me to get through thisā¦ā¦.
Take care
Xx
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@Bess1
We bought my motherās bungalow from the family after my stepdad passed away. She knew and loved the house and was very happy here.
She was admitted into hospital in May 21 just a few days after we moved in and was in for 8 weeks. I had the en-suite turned into a wet room and redecorated her bedroom and she loved her room.
I took retirement to be with her and was planning to redecorate room by room starting in January.
I feel she is here with me and all around which is nice and I feel happy being there and talking to her ( if she starts answering back Iām going to run like mad 
)
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Hi Cat_fan
We all cherish everything
If only Paul would answer me ā¦ā¦
Take care
Xx
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It would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary on the 6 December, my second one without my Tom, but for some reason it feels worse than last year, we always put up the Christmas decorations on the 1st and I did it reasonably easy last year but this one I just canāt do it, Iāve dragged the tree out of its box but itās stood there bare for 5 days and I just donāt understand why I canāt do it, everything just seems so painfulā¦it was his favourite time of year, although he pretended he was Scrooge, he would roll his eyes at me when I had come from shopping but I would often catch him with that happy smirk on his face and I so wish I could see that now.
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That is brilliant, there are no answers, various websiteās will say it can be up to 2 years before you get over the loss of a loved one, I say it will take as long as it takes, and until people experience their loss for themselves, they will never know what we who have lost a loved one go through on a daily basis.
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There are a lot of out there, but no one notices our grief, but from someone in the same position as yourself, you are not alone.
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Welcome Simon 48
Got to say 2 years is nothing
I lost Paul my husband 20 months yesterday
And in actual fact it feels like yesterday and yes unless you have lost the love of your life no one knows what itās like on a daily basis hourly basis
It is absolutely horrendous the pain in your heart is heartbreaking and sickening
Itās a lonely isolated and āaloneā existence
lol
Xx
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My thoughts are with you, and I know what pain you are going through. xx
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lotswife. Thank you for thsat letter of warning but too late for me now 2 years after the event on Guy Fawkes night Nov 5th 2022. I am still in the internal screaming stage and suspect it will not get better after 61 years together, until I will hopefully meet him again. To wake up everyday with out him is torture only my dog and sons keep me carrying on.
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I married my lovely man just 12years ago when we were both in our sixties. He had a heart of gold. He was diagnosed with prostate cancer and emphysema but we were facing both together and coping well - together. Then in August this year he had a serious & unexpected heart attack, no operation possible due to the emphysema but we were assured heād be fine on several medications. He came home after 9 days and he was his usual cheery self for a while until he took a rapid decline & had to go back to hospital for investigation & tests, internal bleeding due to his new meds. He never came home, he died in hospital after a stroke leaving him unable to speak. He squeezed my hand but never opened his eyes again. I stayed with him night & day until he took his last breath. I was able to tell him how happy he had made me & thank him for being the lovely person he was. I told him it was ok to go, I would be fine, I would cope but that was a lie because like you my life is empty, I miss him so very much, I miss him giving me a hug when I needed one, laughing with me or, even at me or himself. Playing Scrabble, filling in gaps in the crossword, knowing where things are, being able to share thoughts or opinions with your most trusted pal, someone who understood you. No more together plans, no more I love yous - just daily, endless nothing. Itās an actual physical pain. When the condolences stop coming, the cards tucked away, his clothes sorted through - what then. Reading the same feelings from others has helped. This is my first post.
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Hi @Emm88 . I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some support and comfort on this forum.
I notice this thread was started over a year ago but I hadnāt seen it until now. I find myself disagreeing with the first line,
'The longer you love, the harder you grieve.ā
I feel that the length of time one has loved is irrelevant. For me itās, the deeper you love, the deeper you grieve or the stronger you love, the stronger you grieve. Whether youāve been together for a year or fifty years, it doesnāt matter. The fact is that two souls have become so entwined that itās inconceivable they should ever part. When one of them dies we feel like a stranger in our own body.
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I agree with you totally
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You are so right we are a stranger in our own body
Lost my husband Paul 24/7/22 and I am totally and utterly
LOST
Xx
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@Tessa1 i fully understand . I canāt face Xmas either itās my second without my love . They are rampant with it . Christmas stuff out before Halloween. I am off abroad again . He was mad about Xmas decorations inside and out . I donāt know when I will ever face it again
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