Life after bereavement

I am feeling very alone and I miss the companionship I had with my friend Anne who died in September. Everyday I wake up dreading another day without her in my life. If I could have the courage I would commit suicide so I could be with her again.

Martin, it’s no consolation but this is exactly how I feel after losing my husband in June. Those four months have been a living nightmare. Waking up to yet another long day without your loved one is unbearable and, like you, I have found myself wanting to go to sleep and never wake up again, but I have a family and it would be dreadful for them after just losing their father. Otherwise I would have done something to be with him again. There’s not much I can offer you except my condolences on your loss, and the hope that you and I, and all those who are suffering the same, will eventually be able to come to terms with it and move on. it’s not going to be easy but we will get there even though we will never forget the person we loved and lost.

Hi Martin,

I’m really sorry for the loss of your friend Anne. It’s natural that you miss her very much, and I’m sorry to hear that you have had thoughts of suicide.

It’s not unusual to have thoughts like this after a bereavement, and I’m glad to hear that you don’t feel you would act on those thoughts. It’s still important to get some support where you can, and I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here and had some supportive replies.

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

  • You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

  • Cruse Bereavement offers a helpline, email support, and counselling and support groups through their local services: 0808 808 1677​, helpline@cruse.org.uk, http://www.cruse.org.uk/bereavement-services

You deserve care and support so please, Martin, get in touch with one of these services.

If you ever feel you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999, go to A&E or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,

Priscilla
Community Manager

Thank you for your condolences. Anne was my family as I don’t have any brothers or sisters and I am not married. She was a great support when I lost my parents, as I was lost without them too.

I am aware of the Samaritans and I have rung them several times. I am also receiving counselling from the Hospice where Anne died. I don’t think my GP can help me other than prescribe anti-depressants which is not the answer I am looking for. I just wish I could be with my beloved Anne.

I am aware of the Samaritans and I have rung them several times. I am also receiving counselling from the Hospice where Anne died. I don’t think my GP can help me other than prescribe anti-depressants which is not the answer I am looking for. I just wish I could be with my beloved Anne.

That’s good to hear that you are getting support from the Samaritans and the hospice counselling service. It’s sad that you don’t have any family - Anne must have been so important to you. I hope that talking to other bereaved people on this site can help you feel a tiny bit less alone in what you are going through.

Its a shame so many people are lonely and we never meet!!! Are we allowed to put our private e mails on these forum messages I dont mind mine being put on if anyone wants to e mail me??

I’m so sorry to hear the suffering you are all going through, but I do find it helpful to learn that I am not alone in these struggles . Does anybody know about counselling for betevment as I haven’t ever had any, and because my mum died 7 years ago I feel stupid approaching one now?

I live alone and am retired with no family. I find people expect one to get over it after just a few months which no one can do and people cope with grief different. I dont have a social life at all and I live but not living my life like I would like. I seem to go to bed early and just read as one can only watch so much tv I am very lonely and when I go shopping etc its always alone!!! I miss my dear friend who died through NHS negligence so much and it is very hard. I am spending Christmas in a hotel of course going alone just hope there will be other nice people who WILL talk to me and not look at me with suspicion or not want to talk to me

Hi am alan i just lost my partner of 12 years jayne 2 weeks ago and all alone and totally lost and to make matters worse her family which i classed as own and did not live with me or jayne have nerve to say i got first choice on buying house i shared with jayne which i feel disrepectful and am after people to make friends with to help me cope.

They are saying as it was there mams home as was mine that she said she left it to them and putting up for sale we only had funeral last thursday and they offered me first choice of buying it so shows what they like but i think its only her daughter and the two sons just going along with her and they let me down big style when i need them most as i suffer from depression due to hassle over my disabled son and him not wanting to go back to his mam which meant as courts said i could not see him i wanted to commit suicide but jayne helpef me through it and was her voice in my head stopped me and after 6 years i start to see him again as his mam does not have anyone to watch him on a weekend now so i get him and now i lose jayne and best of all her daughter day before funeral said this and i bit my lip and then offered me first chance to buy it yest and best of all they were going through my and het bedroom day after looking for mortgaga letters and now i thank yoi for reply i need help where ever i can and people like you who been through the same thanks for your reply

Thank you for the reply appreciate it and already started ball rolling by seeking legal advice am just upset so soon after losing jayne they are been like vultchers i come on here as was needing support and getting lots which is great a really just want to get used to losing jayne but now i got to try protect what i had with jayne on not let them take water out of me she be digusted way they ate behaving and real help been on here and am grateful to my sister in law for pointing me here .

I just want to ge used to been on own and feel hurt by them it not right way they behaving

Thank you i was and am struggling but after way i been treated by her family i am dertimed to fight for our home out of principal of it now which i would not have if left me to grieve properly and as you said it times like these you know who you can trust keep in touch it nice to know people out there going through what i am and i never thought of websites likes this and it really helpful to have somebody to understand how you feel xxx

I just lost my partner of 12 years 2 weeks ago and struggling and sure you be able to get some from doctor am going tomorrow to ask for it and i finding it really hard as my partner jayne just recently passed away and even though was our house for 12 years her children as trying to sell our house from under my feet and that why going to ask for counselling as i gettinh angry with them over it

I will and going to docs to see if i can get counselling and as you coped am sure i be able to aswell and do you have lots of support to help you as you said it times like these you know who you can rely on it just so weird been on own which is hard yo get used to and she was only 54 i could hsd lots more memories to make with her but now just have to think about ones we made xx

Thanks i appreciate it and need all support and asking for it as was suicidal when could not see my son am just hurt by her family and hurting as we had years ahead but been taking away and thanks agsin for chatting xx

I have got a number off doctor to get counselling and i did not want to do this but it not about the money its about her children not appreciateing that house is what i shared with there mam for so long that i decided that if they want to sell it then as i lived with her there so long then i want my share as was my home too and asked solicitor to start the ball moving buy as i said it not about money it principal that i been with jayne for so long and was my home too for so long that i doing this and really i wish they just grieve first before talk about house etc and also wish they showed me respect which i feel they have not and feel they are just thinking of money and not about what i had with there mam. X

I don’t kmow how you manage i am totally lost with out her just do not know what to do with myself x

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