Life after therapy

I wanted to join this online community because I have just completed 7 months of talking therapy following the loss of my mum in 2022. Mum was diagnosed with cancer March 27th 2022 and it had spread extensively by the time she found out and she died on June 9th 2022. It was aggressive and it was brutal. My sister and I nursed her at home as per her wishes and were the only two people present when our mum died. Resuming life after such loss and trauma with a job and two small children was hard and I needed some help to get me through it so I was referred for some talking therapy. It helped but that help has now come to an end and I really don’t want the wheels to come off without it. It’s important sometimes to feel like you’re not alone and to hear voices of people who understand what you’re going through. Many aspects of losing mum have taken me by surprise. I totally lost my confidence for one thing, that was unexpected. I irrevocably lost my appetite and still after all this time find that even my favourite foods taste like ash in my mouth. The biggest surprise of all was my marriage starting to fall apart. My partner of 18 years could no longer cope with me as I am now, this new but in no way shiny broken version of myself. So off to couples therapy we go and the trauma pile gets bigger. It’s easy with all that going on to feel lost and alone. I’m not on my own, by no means, I have 2 kids, I haven’t been to the toilet on my own in 8 years! But still sometimes I manage to feel alone. And I know there are people out there who get that and that’s comforting. And I hope others find comfort from those few thoughts and feelings that I put out there into this corner of the universe as well and would very much welcome some company. But don’t worry, we don’t have to go to the toilet together

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:rofl: Thank you for making me smile, and for joining this community.

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:blush: from one Ali to another - welcome! (Thank you for clarifying re the toilet trips) :face_with_diagonal_mouth:

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So as you are a little bit further into your grief journey than me (its 13 weeks since i lost Mum) is there any advice you can offer or key things you took from your therapy that might be useful to me/others? Ive only just started group bereavement support and feel very alone with the pain right now.

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I think group therapy is great because you’ll feel less isolated. I hope that goes well for you. My advice would be to let it all out. Let the lid off. It catches up with you otherwise. Also don’t worry about “doing it right” or what opinions others might have about your grieving process. You do you and take your time. Its easy to feel afraid or try to hide from your grief. As hard as it may be sometimes, lean into it. People will say things like, “try not to think about it” or “keep yourself busy” or my favourite “try to remember the good times you had with your mum”. Do everything at your own pace and be kind to yourself :heartpulse:

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