Does life really go on? Dreading what’s to come, it will be 3 months on Friday since my world was ripped apart and I lost the most wonderful person I have ever known, my Julie and to make it all worse it’s also Julie’s birthday on the 3rd October. Don’t know how I’ve got through the last 3 months, but does life really go on, I might still be here but don’t think life goes on as I have had no life over the last 3 months and just don’t see it getting any easier with Christmas to come,
Life does go on, but no life we ever thought we would be dealing with. I might be a bit further down the line than you, 7 months, but half the time it doesn’t seem real. Hopefully, one day things will seem a bit better and we can live our lives as best we can because that is what they would have wanted. I too have his birthday, in November, then of course Christmas so not sure how it will be. I do try and do things now, like tomorrow I am off with the friends locally to a History Club. Baby steps is really all we can do now and just try and keep busy. Take care Gail xx
Yeh i know what you mean ! Its a funny sort of life we now have … more like an existence than a life ? Highs and lows i find 9 months in to this My husbands birthday 5th October xx
Yes life goes on, I’m 8 months in and definitely have a life worth living, all be it tinged with sadness and waves of grief but it’s not all consuming.
@Wayne2 it is different for everyone Wayne . I absolutely loved my Andrew but now I am at over 4 months I have been out with friends and back at work . It’s a different feeling now for me . Nothing is the same without him but I have him in my heart always and I know I have to live for him and myself . I never expected to lose him at 58 . I am 56 and it may be years till I see him again as I believe
That’s how I feel at the moment just existing, but I do hope it gets better, I’m only 58 and do have lots of life left in me, well I hope I do but as you can see from people’s stories on here you really don’t know what’s around the corner. Take care
Yes @Wayne2 you take care too
It gets less raw @Wayne2 but im still finding it a tough road … our lives have changed so much and i dont enjoy not being a wife x
@Wayne2 it will be 3 months on Friday for me too. I too, am existing, this is not the life I wanted. I’ve got an amazing circle of family and friends who get me out and are always there with a listening ear and plenty of tissues. It’s not the same without him though and I don’t like being on my own. The worst for me are the evenings, I can keep my self busy in the day and I’m back at work which is helping to keep my brain active. Every minute of every day is tinged with sadness and there are a few things I’ve been doing to try and self help. I write a daily journal, telling him all about my day, my feelings etc. I also created a memory scrapbook that is comforting to look at, albeit very upsetting.
The other thing I do is make sure I get up out of bed every day and jump in the shower, even when I really feel like curling up in a ball, he wouldn’t want me to do that. I have booked I. For some counselling in the hope that might help too, particularly because it’s been so traumatic, with him dying very suddenly abroad and everything that ensued to bring him home. Xx
Hope you do see him again as I hope I see my Julie
I keep putting on a brave face in front of friends and family but every time I’m alone I just keep breaking down in tears, I’ve gone back to work part time but am really struggling to get up in the mornings I just want to pull the covers over my head and escape from this nightmare, like you said every minute of every day is filled with sadness, I just struggle to except this has happened. I to have good friends and family around but that can’t make up for the complete loneliness that I feel every day, take care.xx
It is my birthday too on the 3rd October my husband would have taken me on holiday to celebrate in Tenerife which we did every year. Now i will spend the day on my own but i will he thinking of him always and buy myself something nice which is what he would have done if he was still here.
It will be 4 months since he passed and somedays are harder than others and doing things on your own is hard to deal with. Time passes quickly but sometimes slowly too. Take care Lynne
Yeh @Galaxy75 doing things on your own is what gets me me, my daughter and my granddaughter (age 5) are going to tenerife for 4 nights at end of november as a tribute to my husband too as he loved it there ! And also as its been so tough for us in last 9 months we thought it would be a good idea xxx
Yes it is good to get a break away from this new life we are now living.
It is good you have someone to go with on a holiday too. I dont have anyone but that will not stop me from going when i feel ready. Planning on going to Belfast soon as it was somewhere we both talked about before he died.
Aw yeh that be nice to go to belfast … take care of yourself xx
Never thought it could get any tougher but, this week is my worst yet, I have arranged a meal out on Sunday with friends and family to remember my Julie, the meal is 2 days before her birthday which was 3rd October , now I’m dreading it my Julie won’t be there with me, the first time in 32 years my rock will be missing, and this is the first big get together she Julie when and I’m now scared of going, it all seems too much
Mmmm … i was thinking of doing that for my husbands birthday but nothing arranged yet. Take it easy wont you. Just be yourself and don’t put on an act. If you feel sad … be sad but obviously try to have a chat with them … but keep it brief if its too much for you xx
Thanks debs5, will be very tough just hope everyone doesn’t start fussing too much as I will just find it too upsetting, thanks for the support really helps. X
One of my friends, who’s been very supportive, has a note in her diary as to when it would have been Keef’s birthday (29th November) and she says that we will go out for a few drinks and toast him. Hopefully, that will be fine but we don’t really know until we get there!
Aw thats nice. At least you have a nice friend @Guineapig65 … i don’t think any of my old friends understand how hard this is at all !!! One so called “friend” rang me up a few months ago and said are you a bit upset at moment - i said yeh i am … ive just lost my husband !!! Jeez !!! People !! I think people dont always know what to say but they don’t really try to understand either , in my experience xx