Life is cruel

It’s 6 months since I lost my Husband Ian, and though I’ve tried getting on with life, goon back to work, going on holiday with my two daughters I’ve hit a brick wall. Today I just couldn’t go to work. Cried myself to sleep last night and today im exhausted. I can get past how cruel this is. Ian was only 54 and I’m only 51. We had so many plans for the future and now it’s all gone. My future has been wiped out and I don’t know how to carry on

Tracy, goodness, I’m so sorry how you feel. But this is a good place to be, with folk who understand and know just how you feel.
It may feel, at this moment that your life has been ‘wiped out’. Six months is so short a time in grief.
Whatever I say at this time may not register as even a small bit of relief. If you haven’t already done so may I suggest a visit to your GP. They deal with bereavement often, and even if you don’t want medication they can advise on help services.
Yes, life is so often hard and cruel, but it’s what we are stuck with.
‘Hitting a brick wall’ just about sums it up. It seems there is no way round it, through it or over it, just a total dead end.
But like all walls it will eventually crumble. Brick by brick it will fall apart. Honest!
Take it easy and give the process of grief time. Be kind to yourself.
Take care and Blessings to you.

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Hi Tracy, oh yes Jonathan is right but we seem to think this grief thing will go away like a common cold in a matter of days or at worst a week or two. We don’t tell people it will take longer, not until it happens to us do we release that it’s going to be harder than we thought. Time is definitely an healer but it does take time. There may be more brick walls and unless you have lost someone yourself I don’t think you can take on broad how it hurts. People seem to think because you put a brave face on that ‘you are over it’ sorry that’s not true. The only advice I can offer is try to eat, sleep and get out side and keep busy, counselling yes but be careful of medication, short term, it may help but it is only striking plaster. Grieving is hard and it hurts all the time but has Jonathan said the bricks do begin to crumble and your life will get better day by day. Take care and listen to what your heart tells you, what’s right for you.
Blessings S

Dear Tracy, I know exactly how you’re feeling, I lost my husband last December, he had a heart condition that we new nothing about, he collapsed in front of me and my granddaughter and by the time we got to hospital he’d died, he was 55 and I’m 54.

It seems like a long future without him, I cannot believe I’ll never see his bright blue eyes and I’ll never see him again, I’ve got two grown up sons who have been brilliant.

Sending you best wishes Sharon xx

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