life losses and their accumulation

My dearest friend, the daughter of my parents´ friend, died in her sleep Weds. night.

She and I talked about our deceased parents, cozied up in bed together like college roommates, reminiscing about our growing up. She had lost her husband and mother within six months of one another, and suffered a double mastectomy, recently. She was bright, sweet, and kind.

My question is : how do I best cope with losing my parents and the dear friend that I had, who knew my mom and dad, who set me up on dates, who supported my writing, who laughed at my jokes.

How does one manage, the slow creep of those you love, dying?
I am in my 50s but I already feel like 80, with too many people I know, having passed on. She was 68.
As one ages, the losses really start stacking up. How does one cope? We spent a lot of time together, and I want to be careful of not mitigating my grief, because she was just a friend. A beloved friend.

Hi there I couldn’t just scroll past your post im so so sorry for your losses my loss is completely different from yours but I assure you that you will get help and advice and support from some members on this site who are more experienced to help you deal with the loss of your parents then your beloved friend once again im sorry for your loss it’s heartbreaking in my thoughts and prayers take care of yourself as much as possible Adele x :broken_heart:


Hello Berit. How very sad, life is cruel sometimes to those that don’t deserve it. 68 is no age, and all that she went through too. Your special memories will hopefully help to carry you through this very difficult time. Coping with the loss of your parents is difficult enough, but then the loss of your beloved friend, just adds to that grief.
Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:, you may find some comfort talking to one of our very friendly counsellors.
I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
Please take care of yourself, continue to post on this forum, and always know we are here for you.
Online Community team

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No Berit, she was not ‘just a friend’. You and she gave love to each other, and so often losing a friend can be as painful as losing a relative. I know what you mean about the slow creep of those you love dying. I have no relatives left and few friends. The friends I have are amazing, but relatives are gone. It’s life I am afraid, and the older you get the less contact you have. In your fifties!! You are a young woman although you may not feel it. I forgot what fifty was like some time ago. :roll_eyes:
You cope as well as you can, we all do. It does get easier and as we pass through this grief process, this vale of tears, we learn so much about ourselves. Take care and Blessings. John.