It’s been two years from receiving that phone call.
The one that destroyed any hope that he would turn his life around and come back to us.
Have I grieved?Not sure.I miss him,I dream of him,I am lost most days.
If this is grief then maybe I have started the process.
Then I lost my Mum…I know I haven’t grieved for her because I haven’t finished grieving for Mike.
Too many complications.
Son with ASD,who gets frustrated,angry and lashes out at me because I happen to be alive…his father isn’t.
Daughter who is about to have a baby but doesn’t speak to me because ….well I’m not totally sure why.
Youngest daughter who is drifting,unsure about anything.
A mess really.
I work hard,I haven’t looked after myself because I don’t think I matter anymore.
I long for a hug.Just for someone to say they care.
To all those who have lost,I guess there must be life left but it gets misplaced somewhere else.How do you cope?
are you able to get any help or a little time even a few minutes to yourself? I’m much earlier in than you at 10 months but I just take it 1 day or sometimes 1 hour or even 1 minute at a time and concentrate on just breathing.
This is a good place filled with kind supportive people. You’re not alone. Sending you good thoughts
Sorry for your loss and how you feel my angel has been gone 7 months he passed suddenly July 2023 life seems so unkind at times you should have support I feel your pain my fiancé daughter wouldn’t allow me to say goodbye and her mum made it all about her at his funeral they had all his personal stuff I wasn’t allowed any we were together 3 whole years I have a few good friends but still feel alone I try to socialise to get out but some days are dark and depressing grief affects people in different ways take care of you and sending healing 
prayers and a massive Hug 
Thankyou for your kind words.I have neglected myself the past few years so I will strive to make time for me.I have been giving so much of myself that now hopefully I will begin to live a little.Take care.x
Begin to live a little Benny , be kind to yourself.