Life seems pointless

I lost my partner within hours from meningitis, we had the perfect relationship, I adored him, he was the most caring, considerate and gentle man, it’s been 14 months and I have tried but life is pointless without him, I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again, how does everyone cope and carry on when feeling like this, it just never gets easier as people keep saying it will

Hi sheryl. I lost my wife 4 weeks ago. I feel the same way you feel. I can’t tell you that things get easier or everything will OK because like you I can’t see it. My life seems pointless. I have a friend who lost his wife 2 years ago and he tells me the pain comes in waves and over time those waves get further apart. They get to the stage where you can find some time in between them to live before the next wave comes along. I don’t think we will ever forget and I don’t want to. She walks beside me now. I cry and sob everyday. Now I just ask her to show me she’s around, show me something to ease my pain. And she does, not on demand but now and again. I look back through cards letters even social media. The one thing that shines through is how much and how unconditionally she loved me. I have to embrace that love. And keep it with me. I’m now in tears and I miss her so much it hurts but love doesn’t die its on pause till we meet again.

Stevie I’m so sorry for your loss which I know are just words which you’ll hear time and time again but I know how you feel and I am so sorry, I did not want upset anyone with my post, I am just trying to find out how people have got on with their lives after losing their partners, my partner who was called Steve was my world and I’m struggling to carry on, all I want is him back to share everything with, I have a good life good friends, beautiful family lots of holidays but nothing is the same anymore I’m so sad inside without him, I’m scared I’ll never be happy again, Steve is constantly in my thoughts and the loss is unbearable

You haven’t upset me at all, we are all going through this awful experience together. I feel the same I’ve got family. Friends but at the end of the day I’m alone. Who do I call like I used to call her. Who do I tell I’m having a bad day. Who do I kiss before I go to sleep. Fear is what I have about the future. There is none. The children have kids of there own and I know its their mum that they have lost and that is a huge loss they have lives of there own to crack on with. Mine feels over. Like you I want her to come back from the shop stick the kettle on and have her show me the bargains she always found at the coop. But I know that’s not going to happen. I do draw comfort in that I talk to her a lot. And maybe I’m looking but I have experienced things that may have been coincidence but may have been her trying to tell me she’s OK. I carry a lot of guilt with me, she went in to hospital with a condition that I didn’t take to seriously. I really believed a week tops and she would be home. 8 weeks later she didn’t come home. She fought oh how she fought my brave baby girl. But it was too much. On her final night I wiped away a tear from her eye and told her everything was going to be OK. I sang to her along with our music and I told her to sleep. Everything was going to be OK I got in to that hospital bed and she passed away in my arms. The guilt is that I told her it was going to be OK. But it wasn’t. My loss like yours is total, but what can we do suicidal thoughts have entered my mind but how could I. Am I brave enough no. Could I put our kids and grandkids through that I don’t think so. Would she be mad at me for thinking that, yes she would go ballistic. So I’m left to get on with it. Hey I’m at the end of a message and it can be a journey we can get through somehow. The only people I have had any real help from are the guys on here who have and are going through the same nightmare. Hope I haven’t made you feel worse x

You couldn’t possibly upset me anymore than I am since losing Steve, I have thought about ending everything but as you say I couldn’t do this to my children it would just pass the grief onto them and there is no way I could make them feel as I do now, I feel I am being punished to live this life like I do now, I speak to Steve every night before I go to sleep I pray he comes to me in my dreams I need to hear him but this never happens, my friends say I want it to much and it will eventually, if there is something else why does he not show me any signs, out love was so strong and I couldn’t relieve he wouldn’t show me something, yo replies brin tears to my eyes as I can see your loss is massive, it is so heartbreaking that we have to carry on without our loved ones I just can’t see myself ever being truly happy ever gain

You see I’ve showered dress and I’m doing the morning chores as she would. I look out the window abd a green Ford escort estate drove past. Why did that lift me 12 or so years ago I thought il get her a car so I found one a green Ford escort estate when I got it home she said all she needed was a dog in the back and she’d look like a bloody farmer. How she hated that car. I smiled is that her or coincidence I don’t know but how many of them do you see in a month. X

I’ve had a few things like this happen but not when I’m asking.

I e had songs play at certain times, I went to a neighbours funeral last week the first funeral since Steve’s and you’ll never walk alone was playing at the funeral before the one I was due to attend, Steve was from Liverpool and a fan, I did wonder, I have a fan which he bought me on holiday only a cheap little one it lights up and says I love you I found it again and turned it on if you leave it running it actually says I miss you so much, I’d never seen this before, I did wonder if this was Steve I’d love to think so, I suppose if I actually think about my time since I lost him there has been a lot little things like this happen,

I’m buying in to it. I get comfort from these little things I’m sure our loved ones are looking out for us x

Back to top