I’ve recently lost my husband 7 weeks ago. We met when we were 13 and started dating at 14. We had been together 46 years on the day he died, 39 of those married, it was our anniversary. He had been ill for many years but it was very sudden and unexpected. It was traumatic, he suffered a heart attack and at one stage my daughter had to resuscitate him.
I feel so totally lost and alone. I can’t stop thinking of all the things we did and learnt together and the tears won’t stop falling. I must admit I contemplated ending my life so I could be with him but I couldn’t put my daughters through it all again so soon after losing their dad.
I feel I have no one to turn to and just feel so sad and lost.
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@Maddence , i am so sorry for your loss. My husband had a cardiac arrest on 2nd April and died on 8th April. Like you we met young, when i was 15 and he was 17, we were together for 50 years and about to retire and do all the things we’d planned and talked about. I’m so sad this won’t happen. I am about to redecorate the lounge and buy new furniture. Ive just started looking this week. My friends and family have been great but ultimately i do feel alone. I am really trying to make plans and not just sit watching netflix. Its a long road we’re on , please reach out and talk to people. Sending love to you at this traumatic time.
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Does it start to feel easier. I torture myself by playing back voice mails and video clips. I visit his grave everyday and talk to him like he’s still there. This feeling is sadness is so overwhelming.
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It is 9 weeks today since i lost my lovely husband. Today was hard went to get something at shops but all memories of us shopping together came flooding back and i felt so alone in that moment
Lots of people around but crowds only make me feel so alone.
I cryed on bus home people must have wondered what was going on. Still weepy now all i know is the pain is still the same as it was the day he died. I only hope that it gets easier but not sure it will
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I am so sorry for your loss, its a hard long road we all seem to be walking on but remember you are not alone, Its been 6 months for me(my wife passed to cancer) the shock of being alone is unbearable at times, sitting crying almost every day trying not to think too much. I had to get help! so please dont be afraid to ask. I can only offer hope and light to ease your pain but I am told it takes time.
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I’m 6 months in and all I can offer is that it depends on you. All our situations are different. We all have different relationships and time spent together. Family and friends make a difference and being alone makes a difference.
I’m 6 months in and have ok days. The rawness has gone and the overwhelming pain has dulled. I miss him everyday and wish for so many things that will not happen.
For me I have to stay focused on the present. The future is painful so I don’t entertain it.
I live life because he would want me to and because he can’t and i owe it to him to not waste it.
It’s not easy, most days are hard, occasional days are unimaginable but we get through them because life goes on.
I feel like it’s a sink or swim situation and I need to find some happy in all this as my man would want me to. As I would want for him if the roles were reversed.
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Thank you for your kind words.
I am trying to take one day at a time some days harder than others.
I dont have family to help me but with a few good friends and neighbours i will do my best to live my life for him as he would have wanted me to do this.
I will always miss him but also remember the 37 years we were together. I am in the process of doing a journal memory book so in years to come i can look back and remember the good times. Thanks once again for all your support and comments
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I am nearly 9 Months in & it changes.the raw feelings & pain of the early days have gone.its more a sadness.l still cry some days.but it doesnt overwhelm me the way it used to.its more of a flatness.l work.l go out meet friends & families.sometimes l have to force myself.but l do it.l know we are all different.but Life goes on & we get through it.l am not lonely but l miss him.so sorry for your loss.just keep it a Day.even an hour at a time.
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Thank you
I hope in time i feel able to deal cope with feelings you are right the crying is intense in the beginning when i woild cry for hours.
Now i still cry but not as long as earlier days but some things get to me hopefully over time this will change.
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@Ava2 @Ali29 @Maddence and everyone. The rawness does diminish and i have more days without crying. I agree with everything @Ali29 said in a post above. I too can’t imagine my future without my husband, sometimes i find it terrifying . 2023 has not been a happy year. In January my daughters marriage broke down which was a shock. She has an autistic son so needed a lot of help. Then my lovely Pete died unexpectedly in April. In July my sons marriage is in trouble and he has moved in with me. I feel like my whole world has imploded. I wish my husband was here to help everyone through these troubled times and for me to talk to him about it all. But he’s not and i feel lost abd scared. But I’ll do my best - its all we can do.
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