Living alone

I am 18 months down the libe from loosing my husband to cancer and seemed to cope quite well until recently. The reality of living alone is hitting home. I am lacking motivation.
Any ideas to give me a kick start?

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Dear Chrissie12, I am so sorry for your loss. I have the same problem to find any motivation to do something and even just getting up takes all my energy. But I am quite new to this situation (my beloved husband died this February). Do you have any hobbies you can share with someone else? I know that coming home by yourself is hard because your husband is not there anymore but at least you could get out of the house for a few hours. I went shopping today and actually, I did not want to go out at all but I forced myself after I was crying already in the morning. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

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Hello everyone

I have only recently joined this group and my heart goes out to you all. I have read your comments and they have helped me understand that I am not going mad with my feelings.
My wonderful husband passed away in January after a 12 years battle with cancer. Some of the time between treatments we could have relatively good times but, the last six months were a living nightmare.
Although it is 24 weeks, some days I suffer such pain and the number of tissues I use is ridiculous! I am meeting my brother and friends often and I have good neighbours, but it’s the living alone that’s affecting me badly, we were always talking and enjoying each other’s company. I am having counselling but it’s not helping a great deal at the moment.
His two sons and families, who I get along with very well, live abroad but we FaceTime regularly. They will be in the UK next week and we will be scattering my darling’s ashes on 7 July in the churchyard in a small village in Essex where he was born. This was his wish and my promise.
I am absolutely dreading it which is why I am probably in this dreadful state leading up to it.
My love to you all. x

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Hi @Chrissie12
Actually the 18 month stage can be very hard as it really hits home that we are on our own in more ways than one. I thought that give me six months and I would be back to ‘normal’. then it went to nine months and a year and so on.
@Annaessex had the right idea she made herself go out shopping. She probably had a fight with herself to convince herself to do it and it was the correct thing to do. A great show of strength. Next time it might not be so hard. It is up to us to find that motivation and if you do have a hobby that you can throw yourself into then all the better but I always found a walk to be helpful or gardening, both therapeutic. Have you thought of getting a dog (if you don’t already have one) My dogs saved my sanity. I have met many new friends through walking them and the exercise is good for us. Plenty of dogs needing homes so no need to get a high expensive dog. Just a simple mut will give you all the love you want. I never dread walking into my house as the welcome is overwhelming from my pair. Plus they make me laugh.
Good luck
xx

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Dear Pattidot, Thank you for your kind words. I would love to have an animal but I am not in really good health and just manage to look after myself. I had animals in the past, a budgie, two chipmunks, and two dogs - already a long time gone. The area I am living in is not really nice and some areas can be quite (let’s say) challenging. The bigger park is even during the day not really inviting (except if you want to get mugged or buy drugs). I am lucky (so far) that our street is a bit hidden from the real trouble and the neighbours are all middle age or older or they are families with small children. I think we will never really have a normal life again because of our loss. Sending lots of love and hugs to everyone.

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Hello Annaessex
So sorry you live in a difficult area for getting out and about. Perhaps I forget how lucky I am to live in a safe place and where it is a pleasure to go out walking and meet like minded people.
Perhaps we won’t have the life we had become accustomed to but I hope you will find some peace and contentment again.
Pat
xx

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