My elder son died suddenly in 2012. Exactly one month after being told he had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.It was such a shock. I was at the hospital, by my son’s side as he underwent test after test. All the while, I KNEW it was futile. I saw my son dying before my eyes. But he was determined to undergo chemo & radiation treatments.I knew how he’d suffer. And I knew it wouldn’t save him.I was determined to be at his side no matter WHAT.Then he died, suddenly. No-one has supported me though the grief. The people I SHOULD be able to count on can’t deal with grief. They leave me utterly alone.
It is hard lousing some one you love it is frustrating not getting the help and support and do u feel so alone. I lost both my dad and mum I like you didn’t get the help and support. I was in a bad place my self and I never had chance to say good bye
Dear Meggie, I’m so sorry to hear about your son, and what an awful time you have had. It must have been so distressing for you watching him deteriorate through the treatments. I bet though that he really appreciated having you there through it all. Our young people show so much courage and strength in the face of devastating illness they are inspirational.
My son also died of cancer, aged 36. He deteriorated over 2 years so it was not so sudden as your experience, but like you I knew he was dying and it was the worst pain watching him fade from the gorgeous strong athletic young man in his prime, to skin and bone. Throughout, he remained so positive, cheerful, cheeky, always helping others if they were struggling with their diagnosis. I am so proud of him and privaleged to be his mother.
I’m so sorry you have had so little support in your grief. I think it is very common for people close to you to be unable to respond to you. I think they are afraid, especially when it is the death of a child.
I wonder if you have a local hospice in your area where you could access counselling or bereavement groups ?
Otherwise do join us on the 'Loss of a child ’ stream here, there are lots of us, you are not alone, and everyone is lovely and very supportive.
Just to reiterate what Anneka has said, we are all in the same boat on Losing a Child. My son like Anneka’s died of cancer aged 34, he had a brain tumour and although they operated and removed most of it which gave him nearly 4 years it came back in a place they couldn’t operate and he passed away 4 months after that. Please join us in losing a child, there we all support each other. It is hard I know but for the sake of our children we have to be strong and not easy to do. Like you I looked after Sam. He died here at home with me and his family and friend around him.
with love Helen
I am so so sorry you have had to go through this terrible time. It is heartbreaking. I lost my beloved daughter 6 months ago and am struggling through the days.
I hope you do continue to post I here as we do all care about each other and someone will always reply to you and we have all suffered the loss of our beautiful children.
Take care and lots of love to you xx
I watch my daughter she lost her prescious daughter at 6 days old The pain is undecribable to want to comfort when no comfort is found We are getting together as a family tomorrow eve as it is Isabels birthday 1st x