Loing a partner

My husband been gone since july and i feel im just getting worse. Xmas eve i had to get out at about 6pm bought a coffee qnd sat in my van in the park where we use to go. Xmas morning. On my own and very upset as well always had as present from my hubby and my children would bring xmas presents later in the day. I cant explain but i felt so lonely and sad. New years eve went to bed could not sleep until late. Today on new years day i went to Windsor great and was upset but did see dears a memory came back when dears surrounded me when i was pregnant with our 1st baby. I haven’t been able to settle and stay in today. I just feel sad and keep crying but even worse i just feel depressed. We are supposed to be together we are soulmates.i know my hubby is ok spoken to a psyic as she told me this and things were said to me that only i would know. He is with me but i just want to be able to see and hear him hold him.i dont want to move on or let go i know that sounds weird but thats just how i feel.i dont really want to talk to people. I got lodgers in but dont want them here now. I just want to be with him. I dont see the point in anythink anymore iv lost intrest in a lot of things i dont really cook i dont see the point. The only thing in my life is mum as dad passed away and iv never gotten over dad. Iv tried counciling but cant get on with it. I just miss hubby and my dad so much i cant see that things will get any better. Do other people feel like i do


@Donna23 , Hi, I’ve just read your post and can honestly say it could have been me who wrote it. I lost my mum last Christmas, dad 3 years ago and my husband this September and I feel the loneliness you describe. I’m trying to get a new life but some days, especially Christmas and new year just show how much we miss our loved ones. I’m so sorry to read how your last few days were, and I send my love and support to you, all the best x

@Donna23 I’m so sorry that you lost the love of your life, your soulmate. I lost my husband a year ago suddenly and unexpectedly. He was 53 years old. Life is so unfair and cruel. Definitely been robbed of our future plans and dreams and their life. We had been together 30 years and just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. A year down I think you will never move on but you will move forward slowly and gradually as life is moving forward which we can’t stop. I don’t look into the future as the future is not here yet and we can’t control the future like we couldn’t control the past. I take one hour one day at a time. I have days that I am ok and days that I am screaming and having a meltdown. Grief is like a roller coaster up and down with waves. I think about my husband every single day and miss him like crazy and wish I could have him back. Sometimes I call out I want you back but of course he isn’t coming back. I am making plans for this year as want to keep busy filling my time. I’m lucky to have found some lovely people on here who are going through the same thing and very supportive. Try and be kind to yourself. My husband would be so angry with me if I did something silly as he didn’t get the chance or choice to live his life
Take care and cry and scream when you need too and keep reaching out on here. Big hugs xx.


Hi Donna23
I know exactly how you feel and there are so many other people in our shoes it’s unreal.
My partner lost her Dad in May this year and that was very hard for her and me.
We had spent Christmas week with him for the last 7 years when he would make a 3 hour journey to come and stay with us.
This Christmas would be the first one we would not spend it with him and that was so hard on Ruthie and so on Eve of Christmas Eve she decided I think that she wanted to spend Christmas Day with him in heaven and she passed away too.
We had been together for 11 years and now my whole world is a mess and just feel so alone and empty.
Worst thing is she has been on a cold slab at the mortuary since the 23rd Dec and because of the Holidays the coroners have not been able to issue certificates and are saying another 5-10 days or so because of backlog.
I have just been in a daze these last 10 days not understanding why this happened but realise there are a lot of people out there in the same boat.
I know it’s no comfort but don’t feel alone and try to be strong I mean I’m trying but everywhere I look or everything I do it reminds me of Ruthie .
She was my world and we did everything together and she looked after me and vice versa.
We were planning on a holiday to Thailand in February and then going to her Dads grave in Scotland in May and having a break up there now that has all gone to pot.
Reading peoples posts here and my heart breaks even more
Life can be so cruel for the loved ones left behind but I know we need to move on somehow but just don’t know how
Take care and look after yourself

I would love to hide away for the rest of my life. Unfortunately I can’t I’m 44 and I have 3 lads who still live at home (22,19 and 11).
It’s a hard time of year for us all, it’s like all we do is go through the motions.
The advice I’ve heard over the last 7 months is keep talking, some days it helps some days it doesn’t.
Big hugs