It’s heartbreaking, we were so lucky to have such wonderful people to share our lives with but now we’re faced with the devastating consequences of loving and being loved so deeply and all consumingly , if there’s such a word but I’m sure you know what I mean. It really doesn’t help when people tell you how lucky you are and what a happy life you had togetherrr and how time is a great healer. I just want to jump up and hit them and I’m not a violent person and I know they mean well. Grief seems to make all rational thoughts fly out of the widow, just have to sit on my hands and try to smile x
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I know what you mean. One of the the hard things people say is I’m sure she’s looking down and watching you. That’s all well but it’s that physical connection I miss. Only those who have gone through this can truly understand
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Nobody can know til they’ve been through it. It’s so much more than a bereavement , it’s a whole life and presence just disappeared for ever and as you said, the simple physicality of your special person that you can’t get back j. Touch is so important to human beings and to be deprived of your loved ones touch is indescribably painfulx
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Ahh hi Natalie.My name is Jeanette and I was married to my husband for 40yrs and lost him in April 2019.
I have 2 amazing son’s and 4 beautiful grandchildren. But I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel lonely. I have aquired a lovely rescue cat who is good company.But I still feel lonely at times .Its just the feeling of it’s just you now?
I still burst into tears regularly. But I’ve managed to get myself together and keep things going. I’m quite proud of myself really.Ive made a few good friends on here and we’re going through this journey together. Take care and keep strong.X
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Hi Jeanette im so sorry to hear about your husband. im at the start of this Journey, my wife passed away suddenly 4 weeks ago today and I’m all over the place. We are married for sixteen and half years and she was 62 when I found her dead. Its so tough and im trying to focus on our happy memories, she was the love of my life and a gentle soul. the loneliness is terrible and im thinking of getting a cat also, 40 years is a lifetime so I know you must feel devastated, sending a virtual hug to you and your family x
It is so hard especially when unexpected and sudden. My wife passed away 3 weeks ago aged 53. Coping is not a word I use. I totally understand your loss. My world is not a place I want to be in.
Thanks Chas. So sorry to hear about your loss.
I was thinking about getting a dog but changed my mind and glad I chose a cat especially as I’ve just retired.And what with the lockdown it was the perfect time.
I talk to him all the time.
I’ve photos of my husband all around and I talk to him too.Oh dear!!Sad isn’t it.
Never say it’s sad. I have photos of my wife everywhere. I send her messages and talk to her. I say good night every night and same for morning.
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Yes , more than sad.But some days do seem a bit better than others for no apparent reason. Eight weeks for me now and recently I had a whole day when I didn’t cry. So, light at the end of the tunnel for all of us, eventually if we can hang in there. I’m looking for a rescue cat but was difficult because of COVID, certainly would be nice to have another living breathing soul in the house xx
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No, talking to him isn’t one bit sad, I meant the whole situation. I talk to my Malcolm all the time and to his ashes in a casket on the empty half of the bed. That’s probably sad! xx
Hi Nalatie,
I lost my husband who was 39 due to sudden heart attack Friday the 22nd of May and I am in 40s. How I am feeling I can not describe all mixed up mainly angry, heartbroken…
My husband was fit and healthy so I will never get over it. It may get easier but I will be feeling lost without him. I sometimes thinking if it is a punishment. Happily married for ten years with 7 year old our orecioys son. My life was completed now everything is upside down…
There is nothing sad about anything that you feel you have to do/have to survive a bit longer. I won;t say live as I’m not sure that I want to have a life without her. I have Junes photo scattered round, talk to her at random moments and write to her every day. I suppose I have to collect her ashes this week but really don’t know what to do with them - keep them in the house or scatter them where her mum & dad are (that’s actually what she wants, but not too sure if I can actually do it). Not doing very well today, but comming here seems to help a bit - no need to pretend that I’m coping as that’s what people want to here - of course we’re not
So sorry for your sad loss, my wife died suddenly the day after your husband on the 23 rd of May, the pain is incredible and I know exactly the feelings you are going through. X
I’m sorry to hear your struggling im the same here as are all of us on the forum the seconds seem like hours missing my Edward desperately i too have his and our photos all over the house i say that house that once used to be a happy home I also talk to my Edward all the time just wish he’d answer back just even once 
When you get the ashes you will know what feels right for you maybe you could scatter them as she wanted and keep some on a little urn at home and maybe get some put in a bit of jewellery like a ring or something you will know what feels right for you again im so sorry for your loss in my thoughts and prayers take care of yourself as much as possible i hope your day is kinder to you Adele x 
Dave, as you say its just living, im struggling day to day without my wife, I can’t contemplate spending years without her. I have her ashes and eventually want to put them with her dad as she loved him very much, I can’t yet nor else it’ll be like losing more of her, I continually talk to her, even send her emails people keep telling me time will heal but the truth is life without her is nothing, its a chore that’s filled with pain.
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“Of course we’re not,“ what true words. I had once said he’d like to be pushed off into the sea in a lighted Viking longboat and we as a family did talk of doing that with his ashes. But now I have him home I can’t bear to part with them , have the willow casket on the bed even. I never thoughtI’d do that ashes always felt a bit macabre but when it’s the love of your life it’s so different. Don’t be in a rush to part with your June’s ashes, give yourself time to decide properly so you have no regrets later. Probably Malcolm will have his Viking sendoff but not just yet, I need him with me for the moment. Chas, I so agree with you, we’ll know when we’re ready. Keep surviving , boysx
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Hello Adele, how are you doing? Stupid question, I know. I have lots of photos of Malcolm all around the house, sometimes it’s lovely to see his face and I can smile but other times my heart feels broken all over again as I remember where and when the photo was taken, then the tears start. Oh, miserable Sunday’s! We All we want is Edward and Malcolm here with us and nothing else would ever matter. Sending lots of love xxx
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Thanks Chas, i am trying to get better but it is very hard as his nan 87 years old with heart condition last ten years we keep hearing she might not live last. I do not want to be harsh but she is still here and not my husband. Life is so unfair
Hi there thankyou for your kind message means alot i hope your as okay as can be expected im really struggling missing my Edward desperately what I’d do to hear his voice see another smile have a cuddle make him his dinner and watch him enjoying it time will never heal what I witnessed and what he suffered im absolutely traumatised
I’m sorry to hear your struggling too missing your Malcom lifes more than cruel and unfair just existing second by second it’s unbearable just want him in my arms even to tell eachother we love eachother once more I’d give anything
You look after yourself and take care of yourself as much as possible in my thoughts and prayers stay safe Adele x
Yep that sounds the same for me, it’s been 3 years November since my husband Phil passed, some days are better than others, but at least I have my dog and close family x