Yes that is so true…i also put pears and grapes out for them they like the nicely ripened soft conference pears…also my favourite actually juicy and sweet…with the frozen weather they need them just now dont they xxxxx the birds give me a reason to look beyond my little sad world helping them helps me im so glad despite the sadness you continue to care for our little friends…God bless you for your little message xxx
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I think it keeps our loved ones close to us.
Stay safe and warm x
For me strange as it may sound to say…i pray darren is far from here safe in Gods hands and the comfort i may receive comes from our Lord who i pray waits for my return to him also…i have my memories…i had my brief moments after he died when i was sure he was with me saying goodbye urging me to live but now i dont feel him near and i pray hes not i pray for his safe return home he was a good soul and deserves his rest now…God bless us all God watch us in our grief and give us the strength we need to not just endure life but to embrace what we have left in his name…all my love, friend i appreciated you touching my heart this morning…
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@Pony prayers for you too my friend. You are all in my prayers each night, asking for peace in our hearts. I have never had the feeling that Richard is near me since he died but I do trust that we will be together again one day.
Sending love to all suffering this awful grief.
xxx
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Thank you for your kind words and your prayers… Missing my love and the crushing lonlineess is lessened in these moments here when I can share my pain and recognise others who suffer their pain… Suffering together is a blessing and Im so grateful that somehow my attention was willed to this place
All my love and prayers dear friend
Everyone’s words on here are so true. I feel having lost my husband of 54 years just 6 months ago that I am in a state of utter despair most of the time. I cry and cry every day but when I go out I try to be cheerful for the people who I encounter and when they ask I reply " I’m trying to be OK" but what I really want to say is “I’m broken inside and out.” Even my own sister chats away to try and cheer me up so even to her I don’t say what i feel nor to my two sons as they get too worried about my grief but as you all know on here… it’s a very lonely and terrible journey.
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@Pat8 Everything you say resonates. I decided to tell my family the truth eventually. I found they were all hiding their feelings from me as I was from them. Now we are all grieving in our own ways and more supportive of each other. We all feel better for this as we no longer have the stress of keeping up a pretence. With other friends unless they have been bereaved themselves it is more difficult as this is an experience beyond their understanding. Just about coping is probably the best you can do with them. Love and support to you xx.
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Sending love and prayers xx
I know exactly how u feel i feel like a lepar sometimes my son is just married and isnt around much we used to b so close but weren’t not anymore is so sad trying to find strength everyday hopefully we will get through these sad times 
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@Mike75 i have been the same with my daughter as it us far to easy as a bloke and father to try and bury these feelings. I have to be honest and let my daughter knos if things are getting too much so i can keeo myself in the middle of the river. Reading the rest of these threads when i am asked by work colleagues or other people how i am coping, i reply my brain has been rewired, so i am no longer the person i was and i am having to build my resilance. In my lufe tind i have lost my mum, dad, sister so i am the last in my line, but loosing my sole mate is another level that i will take to the grave. I know from speaking to others bereaved people the weight gets less with time but you always carry it. Sending love and hugs to you all and hoping we all find peace in our hearts.
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Yes we are all in the same boat. Some people adapt better than others but my husband was my anchor and strength throughout our marriage… shielding me as i was always emotionally fragile and too sensitive and when I worried about various family issues of which there have been many, he would always say " We have to take the longer view and not the short view as this will all pass." But I know that this will not just pass and somehow I have to live with it like everyone on this forum. It is all so immensely hard to live without our partners to try and live a life without them. Love to everyone who is grieving tonight.
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Ive found this space to get the words out that ive desperately needed to say…ive felt that the lack of support and understanding ive received in my world was poisoning me on the inside…we are here to listen and sympathise and help you unburden some of the pain if only for a moment…its helped me a lot and im always ready to read and listen because i know ive got the rest of my life to face and face alone somehow and that thought gives me much discomfort…all my love dear friend
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Much love dear friend…i too have lost my shield…i feel very defenceless and picking up the mantle its heavy to bear
Much love to you dear friend yes to be the last one who holds it all together is a big burden…so sorry we share this pain but so thankful to be hear and read about how im far from alone in what i have to face now
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Hi Pony,
I can sympathise whole-heartedly with how you are feeling. My mum died suddenly last November from a massive seizure and heart attack. We all lived together and whilst I live with my dad now and my partner, the worst part has been the lack of sympathy from friends and family. Friends my dad has known for years have just cut him off and not one person has reached out to me to see how I am. You see stuff on Facebook about “Be Kind” and all that, but no-one actually practices what they preach anymore. I, too, am on fire against the world at the moment. I tried CPR but she was left brain dead for a week so I carry that guilt too - I should have let her die peacefully. Even walking my dog I find that strangers don’t want to talk or even smile anymore. I have to be strong for my dad, and my partner is being strong for me, but it’s hard thinking that there is no-one actually caring out there. It’s become a very selfish and isolated world hasn’t it? I am so sorry to read what you’ve been through and going through. You must be devastated and I can appreciate your anger as I am going through the same thing. You must stay strong for your sons as I am for your dad. We can talk on here which is comforting as there doesn’t seem to be anyone else out in the world who can be bothered is there?
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Dear Pony
My partner pasted 9wks ago this Friday. I understand about the friends . I’m so sorry you have lost them all, I’m not quite as bad I’d say only one of my friends call me and make sure I’m ok others have backed off, but what I was told some people just don’t know what to say or do for the best so they just go quiet which for us makes it hard as we feel they have just forgotten about us.
I’m looking at it differently now , looking at it as a blessing as maybe some were not true friends just people that were only meant to be in my life at that time.
Everything changes after our partner passes we are not the couple we are now the person who lost their partner so life will change drastically. Specially when we did everything with our partners. Myself and my partner was joint at the hip in a loving relationship did everything together. I’m just me now . Like you I’m strong in front of my family but on my own is a different matter. Like you I wish we could turn back time. I also have a faith and I know we can’t stop our time to pass. But that doesn’t make it any easier for us.
This group of people in here are all grieving for someone they loved. I find it helpful to read the comments and the grief as when I do I see we are all grieving together but in our own way. But each person here is hurting with grief so you’re not alone like someone else said you have the people here . It may not be the same as your friends, but at the moment only people that have lost or been through a loss will understand. I’m thinking of you and sending you lots of love hugs and prayers xx
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l know how you feel…l lost my Husband paul on 10th August last year…We had been to gether since teenagers…Me being 14yrs old and Paul 16yrs old…49years together and now an emptiness that engulfs my whole being…It is very few people out of many that said they would always be there for me…Who have kept there word…Paul died at home with me and my daughter Looking after him…with St Francis Hospice nurses… l watched this healthy man turn into a skeleton…l watched my soul mate in his last months…only be worried about how l would cope…l watched as every visitor was asked to be there for me… l live in our home and he is everywhere l look…its just too hard to bare…But for now l need to be here…in the future who knows…l dont know whether lm comming or going…l too cannot get those images of he’s last days out of my mind…They continue to haunt me…l still cant believe he is gone or that l will never see him again…
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Pony I lost my hubby on October 11th 2022 and everything you describe is very true I am in exactly the same place I have asked myself time and time again “Friends what friends” and may I add family also it is the most heart wrenching situation to be in loosing a partner to me it was like well the funeral is over time to get on with life what life I have lost my other half of me and I have people telling me it does get better I want to scream HOW!!! My hubby always used to say I was the strong one but I have just crumbled and do not feel strong in any way I just feel lonely vulnerable and so so sad my heart breaks plus as for turning into a angry swearing ball of resentment I get that 100% 
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Hi @Woman-50 I feel exactly the same as you. I am further along in my grieving “journey” so to say, but feel no better. I feel so angry at everything. I never used to be like this … what has happened to me? I can’t even put into words my true feelings as even I can’t face the truth of this devastating situation.x
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Loobyloo2
Hi I fully get you and no matter how far into this grieving journey it still feels like yesterday and the amount of differing feelings you go through just feels so mixed up in your head because their seems no answers plus not being able to face it is very very true I just spoke with my son about this the other day explaining how I still sit in devastation at times and think what the hell happened and I just cannot process it.x
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