It’s now six years since my husband passed and the feeling of sadness and loneliness is no easier. I feel I cannot talk to friends or family because they see how I appear to be doing so well. 
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Hi Lol,
I’m sorry you’re feeling like this. I’m 8 months on this crap path. The loneliness is hard, and we put on the mask to people we do not want to see the truth and upset them. So feel free to rant or ramble on here. I’m afraid we understand.
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Thank you
Hello Lol
I read your message and thought that’s me.
I’m only 10 months into this terrible journey having lost my wife in December 2024 after 48 years of marriage.
It’s more than loneliness though. Loneliness can be fixed by company, but when you’ve lost a soulmate that’s a very specific loss. My wife and I shared far more than friendship, we were there for each other unconditionally. Now she’s gone what am I here for? I find myself wandering around the house like a lost soul, haunting it almost.
Like you I can paint on a smile when I’m with friends or family. Like you I’m doing very well, apparently!
I’m still trying to make sense of it all, trying to work out the meaning of life I suppose. Is it any clearer after 6 years, probably not.
I gain some comfort from the spiritual side, I’ve been reading the Raymond Moody books about Near Death Experience. They have given me some reassurance that my wife is in a happy and safe place but I am left with the feeling of somehow being left behind, so have more work to do.
Thank you for your post, I hope you have gained a small crumb of comfort knowing you are not alone in your grief.
Posting on this website not only helps others but also gives you a chance to assemble your thoughts in print.
Take care
I think it has helped that I have two sons and three grandsons who don’t live that far away. My cat died last year which used to ease the loneliness but she was old and couldn’t cope really as she needed lots patience. It is different after three years for me. Still working through lots of things. I have my son upstairs in his old room overnight and it is nice when we get on but don’t always because all got the grief to cope with but a bit easier now.
I sang in choir today and came home and my son was cooking the dx for us all.
We were all mucking in helping in different ways. Went out for a walk together which was nice.
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I couldn’t have put it better what it means to loose your soul mate and to be left behind
It’s the not being part of a pair and having no one who puts you first or who is number one in life
It just goes on and is like a hole that is now filled with lose. Hard to put into words but continue to be recasting
Thanks for listening
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Yes the hole left behind when you lost other half.
But the hole isn’t as big as it was at first for me. Was huge and gradually space around peeps in. If that makes sense.
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Yeh thsts do true … im struggling atmhad s boyfriend and we just split up and i feel so alone again like ive gone back to sqare flipping one … yhis is a hard road and ine we dudnt have to tread if our loved ones were still here !!! Feel like ive had enough today ;(
Hi Lol, I lost my beautiful girl over two and a half years ago and each day of my life since then has been sad, lonely and at times excruciatingly painful. I spend most of my days now sitting in my house alone or out wandering aimlessly around shops or sitting in a cafe or bookies just whiling away another empty day. I miss her so much and life will never be the same without her. No one can ever take her place.
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Hi, I’m 18 months into this journey none of us asked for. I lost my husband of 40 years suddenly at the age of 58. Ten weeks later my beautiful sister lost her battle with a lung condition, she was only 50. I went back to work 11 months later just mainly so my children (and my sister’s children) would worry less about me. I do lots of things to keep busy, I live with one of my daughter’s, and my niece moved in too as she was only 18 when she lost her mum. However, they have their own lives and whilst I have people at home, I still feel lonely, however I do have to put on a ‘brave face’ for them and that is so draining. I feel like I’m sinking with the weight of the grief, and yes I agree, because of the brave face and the things I do, people now think I’m ‘better’. However I can only do things on my own or within a strict comfort zone, outside of that I wouldn’t cope. People tell me I’m brave, but I’m not at all, I just don’t have a choice but to keep plodding along. I also don’t always want to sound negative and down to other people, I feel that makes me a burden, so that’s when the ‘brave face’ comes into play. It’s so exhausting. I’m sad to think you still feel this way after 6 years, I hope you can find someone to speak to. xx
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Just the same feelings - having my dear wife die suddenly 5 months ago. We were marŕied in 1980. Never ever imagined it would be like this. Crying every day. Its not getting any easier. Luckily I am eating and sleeping well and going out with my local ramblers group. At 82 and basically the future looks very bleak. Good to see all your comments
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Hi Brian, keep posting here, you will get a lot of support as we all know how painful this journey is.
Take Care x
Hello Brian
I am sorry to read about your loss, it’s not a path any of us want to be on.
I am however very grateful that my wife chose me to be her partner, best friend and soulmate. Even if I could go back to the day I met her, knowing the heartbreak I am now suffering, I would do it all again.
I am also grateful that she didn’t have to suffer the grief of losing me. I am proud to be here to deal with everything on her behalf.
Thank you for your post, we are in very good company.
Take care.
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