I am just over seven weeks in from loosing my Husband, My reason to get up every morning, my rock, my best friend, my everything. Wasn’t expecting this to happen and nothing could ever have prepared me for it. Everything you’ve worked hard for all meaningless without him by my side and in my life. Due to complex health there have been occasions where he has been in hospital for 7months and then 4 months. Away for two weeks just before he passed away. My brain keeps trying to trick me into thinking he is in hospital and will be coming back, then the reality kicks in. My grief is very raw and emotions very high, two beautiful dogs that need me. I question what this whole life journey is about, working lots of hours to keep afloat, lots of battles, planning for a retirement that is literally ripped up in front of me and completely destroyed. He has moved out grief has moved in and waiting to catch me out at every opportunity. I’m the noisy one but our home is so quiet it is literally deafening. Weekends are the worst I don’t know why, my raw grief and Mother’s Day yesterday literally finished me off and today isn’t any better, the two most loved and important people in my life gone. I’m in bed anytime after 7pm, it seems to be the place I settle and feel most peaceful. Sleep is an issue. I’m dreading the lighter nights. I’m a loner, people are not drawn to me and advise my light shines too bright for them! I really don’t know how long I can keep going with this. I. Asked will I move? What are my plans, just trying to get through each day is as far as I’ve got.
So sorry Dora. I could have written every word of your post ,eleven weeks for me.My husband went to bed Christmas Day and just never woke up,totally unexpected and out of the blue. Boxing day was our 55th wedding anniversary. We had recently moved to a bungalow he loved,he was so happy,living his best life. Its so cruel and pointless.What now,I just dont know.
I’m so sorry for your loss, that must have been such a shock for you. I’ve lost my beautiful Mum fifteen years ago and that was extremely difficult, but I had my Husband by my side to support me and this is on a completely different level. We’ve been married just short of forty years, but it’s just not long enough I wanted more.
Take care and try to take each day as it comes and ride the waves in the best way that works for you
Hi Dora,
i’m right at the start of my grief journey. My wife died last week aged 51. We’d been together since summer 2004 and married since July 2006.
Last year my Dad died, and I got through that with my wife’s help, but right now I desperately wish I could turn to my Dad for advice. My mum had died in 2001 so I now have no immediate family around.
I’m at the stage of walking around the house aimlessly. I’m managing to get up, shower eat and drink water. Most important of all I’m looking after our two cats.
I’ve got lots of people checking in at the moment and her family are amazing (but 60 miles away).
i can’t offer any helpful advice, other than to say I’m always happy to chat here.
Take care
That’s hard and especially at such a young age, life is just so cruel and for a reason I never ever understand it’s always the nice people. Pets are such a help in pushing us to carry on for them and the comfort they give back is priceless. I so wish my Mum was here to talk to and support me with it all. I love our home but are surrounding by not very nice neighbours and the vultures are already swooping for information so they can be the one to share with others. I notice your Husbands not at home is he okay, yes, not seen him, I don’t want to talk about it, say hello to him from me, they didn’t even bother with him when he was alive and living here! Forgot to say of if you need any help give us a shout, some people are just something else. Take care