I lost my Dad 27 years ago of cancer when I was 18. He was 50 when he died. I’m largely content with my life but for a few months now I’m often having flashbacks of his intense suffering before he died. I’m filled with sadness and wish he hadn’t suffered so much and died so young. I also feel guilt that I wasn’t there for him enough when he was ill. I think I may have buried all the difficult feelings when he died just to get on with life and they are coming up now. Has anyone felt this where you have feelings of grief even years after your parent has passed?
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Hey, sound like we lost our dads at a similar age, i1²
Sorry my dog stood on me!
I lost my dad when I was 19 and he was 47 - it was 20 years ago this year. I still get floored with moments of grief, especially that I’ve lived my entire adult life without him. He wasn’t there when I got married, he was never a grandparent and he’d have been a great one.
I get flashbacks too. We had left for a few moments and I wasn’t there when he died and that haunts me.
Have you ever had counselling? I’ve thought about it. My little sister had it and found it helpful. I guess I felt like as “the big sister" I had to be the strong one.
I’m sorry you lost your dad too. The pain never entirely goes away does it.
Hi Forestchild,
My dad died when I was 16 and he was 47. I never really got over it but my sister died 23 years later and I felt my dad’s grief go and my sister’s grief take over. My husband has died from cancer 15 years after and his run up to his cancer death was traumatic. 18 months he fought a rare cancer which the hospital failed on. He already had prostate cancer and a scan showed up a liposarcoma which they failed to act on.
I miss them all so much especially my husband. He was a wonderful husband and deserved so much better from the Nhs. X
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You will always feel grief later in life because we will always miss them. It simply means we care and that’s a good thing xxx
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Thanks so much for replying and so sorry for your losses. Yes, I should try and see if I can find a counsellor, thank you.
It’s hard to talk to friends or family as I feel people might not understand, as it happened so long ago. And I find it difficult to talk to my mum or sister about it.