Tomorrow will be 2 months since I lost my husband Neil suddenly at 49. I miss him so much. Even though I have family supporting me I feel so lonely. It was just the 2 of us we didn’t have any children and I feel so lost. The pain is unbearable. Every thing seems to be moving on around me and just feel like giving up. People ask how I am and just say “am ok” but really I want to scream at them and say am dying inside bit yes “am ok” This is the hardest thing I’ve had to live with. I really don’t know what to do next.
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Four month since my husband passed still doesn’t feel real. I just want to be with him . We were married 39 years been together 43 years we were both 16. He is all I know in my adult life .
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Am so sorry for your loss, this pain is unbearable isn’t it. That is a long time and a lot of memories but I understand what you are going through. Am the same just want to be with Neil he was my everything. Thinking of you 
xx
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I have adult children and grandchildren and have to be ok in front of them . But when I’m by myself or in bed I just cry. I have gone back to work but hate every minute of it . Some of my colleagues complaining about stupid things on a daily basses . I am just living of coffee and cigarettes I don’t even like coffee but I can’t eat also haven’t smoked for ten years but started again . This life is cruel my husband had so much more to give . He was only diagnosed with throats cancer in march went through radiation and chemo suffered terrible then for about a month thought he was getting better then he started feeling poorly . He was told over the phone one Friday cancer had spread following Friday at appointment told he could have more treatment following Friday he died. I miss him so much.
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Hope you are managing to eat and sleep it is so hard . Hope you are able to talk to people about your precious husband that helps me a bit by mentioning him in conversations sometimes it’s upsetting but we need to talk about them they are part of us . I’m new to this online stuff never bothered with Facebook or other things . Was happy just to chat with hubby . Take care x
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That is so sad, your husband didn’t deserve what he went through. The one thing am grateful is Neil didn’t suffer he was fine all day no complaints or anything then at 8pm he said he had a pain in his eye and felt dizzy and he collapsed with a bleed on the brain he never came round. Yes the nights are the worse in the day can keep busy but the nights are a struggle. Xx
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So sorry the shock must be horrific . Even though hubby had cancer I didn’t think he would die with it but I must have known deep down there was a chance that he might but probably denied it . But what you must be going through is absolutely terrible my heart goes out to you x
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Eating bits here and there am staying with my sister at the minute I can’t face going home knowing Neil’s not there. So she is making sure I eat something but I really can’t face much to be honest. Yes am talking about him, we have to don’t we. We loved them so much we need to keep their memories alive. Please try and eat something even if its just small things. Look after yourself. Please take care xx
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Thank you, if Neil had been ill I could accept I think but it was just so quick and unexpected. Thank you for listening tonight. Much love to you xx
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Thank you for chat as well it does help a little . Hope you have a ok day I know there is a lot to do and your brain doesn’t work properly as all you can think of is hubby and what you have lost . Happiness future etc. I of to work now hope someone doesn’t say wrong thing as I have no patience with people at the moment but don’t really want to upset any one no one knows how hard it is losing the one you truly love and having to get up each day and put a false smile on your face x much love x
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I hope you have an ok day, too. Try to stay strong I know its hard when everyone around you seems to be moving on its very tiring as well. Take care xx
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I have cried a little less so far today but the day is only half way through. Never been out the door since Monday but will need some provisions tomorrow. I’m not eating well save for the kindness of a neighbour who brings in meals sometimes for which I am very very grateful. I still get phone calls - have no family of our own. My ex supervisor and friend says to call him day or night but I could never see me doing that even in desperation. I’m not going to tell my story again as it will be repetitive to many on here.
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Hi Shiney, have you thought about counselling. Your friends are there to help you if you feel you can’t talk to them what about samaratins. I am sorry for your loss, its a horrible thing we are having to go through. Take care x
Hi Lisefin
Sorry about the delayed response. They say counselling cannot take place until 3 months after the bereavement. I have not spoken to Samaritans but they have been recommended.
Thank you for your comments. It is horrible for everyone. I still have my blinkers on and cannot see the wider view at present. I wish you well. Take care.
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Hi all of you, I’ve just read your posts and my heart goes out to you. I’m a little further along on this horrible journey but still get very emotional when I think about my husband. Steve died in a swimming accident in November 2020. He was so fit and healthy and loved swimming in the sea. We’ve never found out what really happened on that day. We had been married for 40 years and had no children. My whole family live abroad so I’ve been quite alone dealing with everything. The first year was a total nightmare. What helped me was meeting friends for walks and doing voluntary work. Also lots of phonecalls and videochats with friends and family. What is so very hard is meeting people who only talk about their children or grandchildren. Luckily most of my friends are single as I feel more comfortable in their presence. I also have started smoking again. Not having anyone to talk to about my affairs is so very hard and underlines the loneliness. I don’t want to feel sorry for myself but can’t help it sometimes. I also have a visual impairment and worry about the future. But despite all this I’m determined to carry on to the best of my ability and in honour of my husband who loved me so much and would hate to see me sad and upset.
I wish you all much strength and courage. I’m so grateful for this site where we can share our grief. Look after yourselves ; you’re worth it! It will get better in time. You are in my thoughts! Xxx
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Shiney, Yes I know we are still numb aren’t we, I feel like I am in a very bad dream. I keep expecting to wake up and Neil will be there. Its heartbreaking. Please take care of yourself xx
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I also had counselling from Sue Ryder which helped and my GP suggested the HOPE programme which was helpful. I’ve rung the Samaritans countless times. Take care of yourselves. You’re not alone. Xx
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Rita I am sorry for your loss. This is such a hard situation we are all in. It’s like being in a bad dream. It’s the unexpected that’s so hard to take my Neil wasn’t ill, never had any symptoms at all. Everything feels so final I feel like my life is over. I have family and friends around me so I really feel for you that your family are abroad it must of been so hard for you. My husband was visually impaired have you reached out to the rnib or the blind society we found them very helpful over the years to Neil and myself. Thank you for your kind words. Take care and much love to you xx
And I thank you for your kind words. It’s still early days for you and I’m glad you have your family and friends around you. Your sister sounds lovely and very caring. I hope it will get easier for you with time. Sending you a virtual hug.
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Yes I would be lost without her. Thank you so much please look after yourself . Hugs xxx