hi pattidot you obviously didnt do anything wrong at all from someone looking in i can honestly say that. im sure Brian knows that and is so proud of you and grateful for everything that you did it was the system that failed him xx im having a really crappy day today its been 6 weeks today since i lost my gorgeous man and i really dont want to live and go on without him xx
Come on Jo, keep going. six weeks is a very short time. Iām a bit further on but still panic and cry for no reason everyday. I keep looking at photoās of Brian and he becomes more good looking everyday and I wonder how I didnāt notice, well, I did, but I took it for granted. All I can say Jo is have a good cry, let it all out. I do and usually feel a bit more under control afterwards. Tomorrow is another day but face it bravely. You obviously have the strength the way you cared for your husband for all those years. When I become desperate I ask Brian to help me and I feel comforted.
pattidot thank you for your kind words and support ā¦ i look and Darrell now and think god it had it all he was so nice looking so thoughtful so caring so passionate about his family and in a blink of an eye lost the lot xx love to you jo xx
Hi Jo a finger print tattoo is such a lovely idea, I ask Chris all the time why did he leave me. We both had so much to live for. But then I think Chris would do anything to be here with me and our children. Some days I expect him to walk in the door and I would give anything to be with him again. Tomorrow is our 25th wedding anniversary and I am so sad his isnāt with me. Keep strong Jo my thoughts are with you Miki x
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hi Mikki i also did Darrells name on the side of my hand i do them myself so i have his signiture and im going to do that on the inside of my arm x i havent got a middle name but always wanted ine so im having Darrell as amiddle name by deedpole might side abit over the top but i just need to do it x just a thought but with it being 25 yrs for you and chris tomorrow have you thought about having his name done you dont have to have it on show could be on you shoulder or something or on wedding finger just an idea xx jo xx
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Dear Miki, I understand how you will be feeling today; it was 25 years ago that you and your beloved Chris were wed. I send my kind thoughts and understanding of the complex mixed emotions & memories. However you choose to get through today, I hope thereās something that will bring you comfort, peace and love, x
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It is the most awful thing kate . Watching others and wishing it was you
Mikki thinking of you today with kindness and love jo xx
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Thank you so much Rainbow, it is so nice having support from you lovely people who all know exactly what we are going through 
Thank you Jo xx
Hi Miki I know how you feel at this emotional day. Sending you a big hug.
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Hi Crazy Kate just been reading your post from the 23/02. I do exactly the same as you. I walk a lot, have my lovely dogs for company. Look across the river or out to sea, blue sky and sea, sun shining (some days) spring flowers appearing the start of a new summer. But for many of us itās going to be different, we want to enjoy the beauty around us but canāt because thereās something missing. I promised Brian I would take him everywhere with me and I do talk to him. He always had a camera with him and used to drive me mad when I had to keep stopping and waiting for him while he took a photo (or two). Now I just turn and look for him and wish I hadnāt been so impatient.