Hi , sadly i lost my partner 3 months ago and im wondering how people have coped? Finding it all very difficult and would love to chat to someone
1 Like
The only way I cope is to take each day as it comes. It’s just over 3 months for me too. It’s been the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to deal with and just hope some day it feels a bit better. I still cry a lot but I think that I’ve actually accepted now that he’s not going to be walking through the door. We were together almost 44 years so really all of my adult life so that’s made it difficult. Discovering this site has really helped because we are able to talk to people who understand what exactly we are going through.
3 Likes
I am struggling to cope with the loneliness. have you been able to do things, i have not been able to do much myself,
2 Likes
I have two sisters, two children and some friends who try and help, but of course that’s not really who I want to talk to. I do go out occasionally, but can easily get overwhelmed so than decide to stay in for a while. My house isn’t quite so empty now as I got two rescue cats are few weeks ago. I write most days in a journal so that I can say things that I wouldn’t say to people. I still talk to Keef, my husband, and even text him. I imagine that the loneliness is going to be there for a long time. Next week I’m supposed to be going up to London for the day to an exhibition at the British Museum, part of me is terrified but I know that I need to go. The first few weeks I hardly did anything apart from probably drinking too much, I’ve decided to take a break from alcohol and see how I cope. There is no magic answer we just have to try and think of them and how they would want us to be.
2 Likes
@Derek59 . . . l dont know about coping its more taking each hour & step one at a time.
lve found this site really helps as you’re amongst friends who do know what you are going through and will go through.
Despite the emotions, roll with the waves 
, rant rave scream 
if you have to, we’ve all been there, we KNOW. Let yourself go on this site, there are plenty of us who can empathise and listen.
Take care xx
2 Likes
Hiya mate…welcome to this awful club…to be honest you don’t cope…I cope…I can cope…because I have to…I don’t want to…but have no choice…so you will ‘cope’…but just make sure you don’t look further than tomorrow…then do it again…and again…I still am…and use this forum…it’s gold dust…best wishes to you 
4 Likes
@Derek59
We are all on a different journey as our losses are different. My partner died 29th Jan 23 so just over 3 months.
I’m coping ok now but I have forced myself to hit things head on. Anything I think I will find difficult, I tackle it head on, deal with the emotions and move on.
A lot of it comes from the fact my partner was a very positive, cup full kind of guy, who loved life and lived it to the fullest. So I can’t not live mine as that, to me, would be an insult to his memory and him.
However, having said that, I have difficult days and I just accept them, I let the tears flow when they need to, no matter where I am or what I’m doing.
I talk to him when I need to and keep a diary where I write down everything that I would have said to him that day, if he was here.
@Derek59 just to reiterate what others have said I cope by surviving day to day and not thinking any further ahead than that. Some days are now easier than others but if I’m having a bad day or moment I ride with it, cry if I need to, then try and carry on. I wouldn’t say it is easy and a lot of the time I just want to hide under the duvet but I know that isn’t what my partner would have wanted me to do.
I lost him just over 4 months ago. Just keep hoping one day things will feel easier.
This forum is definitely a life saver. I have found it so supportive. So keep posting. Unfortunately we are all in this awful club together.
Hi there. My heart goes out to you in your sense of loss. It is not something that other people can ever enter into but I have found trying to be honest with yourself about the strength of your pain is the best way of building up defences against the awful emptiness. If you ask yourself about things you can find that you already know the answer. You will slowly feel stronger and suddenly realise what triggers there are to avoid in thoughts and that put you more in control. I do hope things become easier for you, and they will.
@Derek59 welcome to this awful club. I can’t really add anything that hasn’t already been said. Just try to get through each day however you can. Try to be kind to yourself. Chat, rant, whatever you feel on this forum it really helps. It’s been 8 and a half weeks since I lost my husband of nearly 35 years to cancer. I miss him so much and I’m heartbroken. Take care and reach out when you need to.
2 Likes
I lost my husband four months ago. I’m finding it very hard. People think I’m doing well but I am suffering so much with anxiety and panic attacks. Sleeping is also hard. I miss him so much and I feel so lonely even though my family have been wonderful.
I will pray for you tonight
4 Likes
Hi derick I lost my husband last year it’s seems like yesterday we’re we’re laughing together and then suddenly he was gone my heart is broken and I’ve not been doing very well I’m sorry you’ve lost your loved one but this site has helped me no end you can chat to all us on here whenever your feeling sad or angry or you need a rant your not alone on this journey dereck you have all of us I’m so sorry for your loss sending you big hugs x
1 Like
Hi, the worst thing is grinning and answering enquiries with a flippant smile. It is eating me up while I am dying inside. I think I am ok then I fall into the pit again, and Mary and our little dog Tara are gone and I am always going to be alone without her. Edward.
2 Likes