Hi, I recently lost my dad who was seventy very suddenly to a heart attack in his sleep. Just looking to chat to people who have been through this. The loss is unbearable and I am finding it hard to cope with not having the chance to say goodbye to him and also with the fact he was on his own when it happened (as he lived alone). Thank you
Hey @Nicnoodles sorry about your Dad. Mine died in hospital as I got there. I walked in on him dying. Like you I’m tormented by not saying goodbye & seeing him like that cos it didn’t look a peaceful demise. Many people on here are in the same situation as you so I’m glad you reached out. I’m sure our loved ones know we care even if we don’t say it. I wish you well. Xx
Hi Cee, thank you for replying, that’s so kind of you. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad too, it’s just awful. I do hope you’re ok. I’m sure too just like you that they know we care. Just wish had a chance to say it. I wish you well too xx
I can’t relate directly to your experience bc my parents are still here but I lost my partner in January.
I have found that my close friends have been willing to listen but not everyone is that fortunate.
I often get asked how I stay so strong and think about others despite my loss. Aside from the fact that I genuinely care about people and try to help with their troubles where I can, the answer is quite straight forward: it’s what Karen would have wanted me to do. I have also found that helping others helps me to deal with grief. Not saying it would work for everyone but i have found it therapeutic, cathartic even.
It’s difficult to quantify bereavement bc everybody has a different experience.
That said, since joining this forum I have found it easier to talk to people with a similar experience to mine. It’s good to have friends who listen but unless they have had the same experience they struggle to relate to what you’re going through. All of us on here have experienced loss and the grief attached to it.
I still struggle to get my head round it. I have accepted that Karen is no longer here but I am a long way from coming to terms with her passing.
We are all here for each other so don’t be afraid to speak up.
@SeanM i know where you are coming from, i lost partner 15 months ago and i got the sorry to hear about dave at the beginning but after a couple of months nothing, apart from one son not even family. I cried and was angry the first few weeks. But I personnally am not sitting here crying all the time and being miserable, there is no point, i cant change anything, I have always been down to earth and even after 47 yrs, i knew he wasnt coming back so i have just got on with it. myself and a couple of others said similar the other day on here and even had our love questioned, that unless we do spend the rest of our lives crying and being miserable we couldnt have loved them. we will never forget them or the big part they had in our lives but like it or not we are on a different path now.
we might not ever come to terms with them going but we have to accept it no matter how hard it is. take care xx
I’m so sorry for your loss, she sounds lovely, makes total sense what you have said and thank you so much for your advice , it really is appreciated.
I’m sorry for all your losses it is hard to take it in when it’s sudden i lost my older brother and still have to really concentrate (if that’s the right word) and tell myself that it has really happened although i know it has