Loosing a partner husband is cruel we shared everything together laughter tears joy happiness a family man my world I can’t believe he’s died why I ask iam here in a dark place frightened of what’s ahead of me iv no future without him just memories and beautiful they are there not enough I wake crying it’s an effort just going out to do daily necessaries but somehow I know I have too iam lost lonely and frightened of what tomorrow may bring
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I’m so sorry for your loss, I feel exactly the same. Your partner is someone you share your entire life with, the person you plan your future with. Losing my partner is like no other loss that I’ve ever experienced 
What do I do now? I know I have to carry on but how?
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@Rosebush21 and @ lostlil I too can relate. It’s everything from the practical to the emotional. Although I have friends and family for support no one can understand unless they have lost their partner & soulmate. Life just has no meaning anymore. Sending love. X
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Yes so true somehow we do find a way but can take years of unimaginable suffering now body gets this I get so cross inside when people say what would your husband say to see you this way it’s complete lack of understanding and very insensitive why can people just be there for us i once said to someone whom said I don’t know what to say silence can speak a million words I just want them be there not there help nobody can fix this and that’s the frustration I cry out to my husband where are you I tell him how sad I am he already will know this we had a very unique relationship one that can never be replaced I hope you find strength I feel your pain for you and my heart goes out to you
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Thank you yes there’s no meaning anymore I tell my counsellor iv got no place in this world no meaning not even my counsellor has helped me feel any different so here I am alone crying most of the time try to take care of yourself sending you a big hug:broken_heart:
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I know it annoys me too when people say he wouldn’t want to see you like this. Of course he wouldn’t, he lost his dad suddenly of a heart attack and after that he always told me if anything happened to him then he would want me to be happy and not miss him forever. Easy for him to say though. I don’t think he actually realised how loved he was
People say to me oh that holiday you were planning on going on in September, just go on your own, do it for him but seriously? I can’t even imagine going on holiday on my own. I’d just be there wishing he was there. People seriously do not get it unless they have been through it themselves
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So true. Travelling is what we loved most but I struggle to even go to local places we went together. Can’t even imagine going on holiday on my own or with anyone else
I would never go on my own. I wish more than anything he was here to travel with but there’s absolutely nothing we can do to change that now I’d give everything I have to have him back but it’s not possible.
We could have another 20 or 30 years left on this earth and I would like to think I’ll go away again. There are still so many beautiful places in the world that I’d like to see. I don’t want to be here anymore, I would happily go to sleep and not wake up but if I do have a long time left then I don’t want to spend it being miserable. It’s hard to know what our future holds right now. We shouldn’t be in this position 
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Oh @LostLil my heart breaks for you. You are almost 20 years younger than me. Although I still feel young and so did my husband. We lived a full wonderful life together. Right now we can’t imagine a future. I really hope that changes for both of us. Sending hugs.
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55 is still young, way too young to write life off completely although I’m doing exactly the same.
My OH would give me a right boot up the backside if he could see me like this and I would absolutely break my heart to think of him like this if I had died
It’s just scary to think what now? 
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Three years and even though I can function, smile, even laugh, I am nowhere over my husband’s death. Not sure I ever will be, but after 57 years together, maybe expecting to feel better after three years seems like an insult, if I think about it.
If, like us, you were truly happy together for all that time, you are lucky, just as I am. I have so many wonderful memories and I don’t want them to fade.
I have an amazing and supportive family, and I know I am very lucky. I sit here really devastated sometimes when I read of younger (or older) people having to cope alone and not knowing where to turn. SR will help, but they can’t perform miracles, more’s the pity!
No-one warned me it would be this bad!
My heart goes out to you all.
With hugs, Ann
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It’s the hardest thing ever. We have a family holiday at the end of May & I’ve said we will still go as I don’t want to let the kids down but I’m dreading it . Everything from packing & going to the airport is just going to magnify Bry nit being here 
He would want me to go but that doesn’t help in the slightest. We were so very close & I don’t think he would be on this earth had it been the other way around as he’d miss me if I was out for a couple of hours .
To be honest I think the only reason I am is because I’m not strong enough to do anything but every day I ask him to come & take me. My friend asked me ‘ but what if there isn’t anything after we have gone and you do something’?
I replied ‘ well then I won’t know any different, but I’d take my chances ‘
The pain of losing your soulmate is something that nobody can understand until they go through it, like we all keep saying.
It’s so nice to be able to share our darkest moments & the bravery that some people have shared in the posts .
Sending love to each & every one of you xx
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I think the same,I would love to go to bed one night and not wake up. I think if there is something after death then great, I’ll be reunited with everyone I’ve ever loved and lost and if there is nothing at all then I won’t know a single thing about it but at least I won’t be left here suffering any longer. Either way feels like a win win situation tbh.
I know it’s not the same as having your soul mate with you but I hope your children bring you some kind of happiness. I say some kind of because I don’t think we will ever know true happiness again
It is nice to be able to talk about how we’re feeling on here because in real life everyone just expects you to “think of the good times and know he’s always in your heart” and that really doesn’t make me feel any better
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Exactly! People say you have your memories & he will always be with you & they mean well but the whole point is he’s not.
My kids are amazing and I’m not taking ANYTHING away from them losing their Dad, they are 23 & 32 & so sad for them . I lost my dad @47 and I was broken and I still miss him, but they have their whole lives ahead of them and I know they will smile again. As for me, I’m like you , e want to sleep & not wake up & take my chances of If there is anything after . This is just so cruel on us all having to feel the pain & fight every day to exist
Sending you lots of love xxx
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I hate it when people say you have your memories and he’ll always be in your heart. That doesn’t help at all. I don’t want him to be just a memory I miss him desperately. I’ve started going over friends houses and for walks with friends to try and get myself out of the house but it all just feels so pointless. I don’t really want anyone elses company, I just want him. I just want to jump on the sofa or get into bed and have a hug and a chat. Nothing can replace that. He was perfect for me.
Today I was out for a few hours but it was because I felt like I should try rather than because I wanted to. I’ve just got in and I feel as empty and lonely as ever. The emptiness I feel inside doesn’t go away no matter where I am or what I’m doing. I don’t want to live like this anymore.
I know what you mean about your children, they still have their futures and hopes for their future. I feel like our futures ended when our partners died.
What on earth do we do for the rest of our lives?
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I fully appreciate your feelings , my husband of almost 59 years died July 2021. This past weekend I did go away on my own , with my dog . I wanted to join a charity walk in the Lake District . I stayed in a hotel for 3nights , it wasn’t as bad as I anticipated and I’m SO glad I did it as it has given me some hope for a future as a widow ( I loathe being on my own but can’t change that )
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I’m glad you enjoyed it and hopefully now you’ll have the confidence to go again 
I’d be absolutely useless if I went away on my own, my OH always used to be the navigatior. My sense of direction is absolutely shocking 
The Lake District looks beautiful, it’s one of the places we planned on going one day. So many places that we wanted to see that we’ll never be able to see now
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I’ve no idea at all , I only wish I had the answer for us . It’s just the worst pain ever which I’ve just had to say to my friend . Again they mean well but they guilt trip you when you say you don’t want to go on without him , start bringing the kids into it. Not really the pressure you need when you are grieving. We didn’t have any choice of being in this situation did we ?!? xx
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I love your profile picture, you are a beautiful lady and you looked so happy together
My friend keeps saying to me “oh you just need to find a routine for yourself now” Having routines will help me get by but there’s absolutely nothing that’s going to help the constant emptiness I feel inside and the constant yearning I feel for him
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Aw Thank you and we were . We had our moments but who doesn’t .
I know it’s just the worst isn’t it , the only time I feel any kind of peace is the hope I’ll be with him or not in this life anymore sooner rather than later. I sit when people are around me trying to act ok but inside I’m screaming.
My Bry used to go mad at me for not eating properly if I was busy & skipping meals . He always ate 3 times a day & always healthy but It didn’t help him
I know people who have lost their loved ones and they say you just learn to live with it over time but I don’t want to learn to live with it and I don’t want to ‘move on ‘ xxx
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