Loosing husband

Losing a partner
21

Oddly when I am around other people I feel worse than what I do at home. Today my friends text me to go for a walk with them and the baby. I didn’t really want to but I thought I need to start doing things. After the walk we went back to the ones house and had a cuppa but the whole time I was out I felt dead and empty inside. My OH is constantly on my mind. When I came home I actually felt better despite coming home to an empty house. That doesn’t really make sense to me. How can I feel less lonely alone than I am around other people :pensive: I’m not the same person anymore.

Ah I never used to have any problems eating when my partner was alive, food was a big part of our lives :rofl:
He’d cook healthily during the week but on the weekends we’d go out for food a lot or have takeaways. It always caused so much drama because we’d both want the other one to decide where we were going to go for food. I miss that now :broken_heart: Since he’s died I haven’t really felt like eating a lot, I just don’t have an appetite anymore. This is the first time in my entire life that I’ve been off my food :rofl:

I don’t want to learn to live with it either, just getting up every day and plodding on for the sake of it. What kind of existence is that? :pensive:

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22

@LostLil

Oh I didn’t have a problem with eating but caring for my mum I would just forget & before I knew it it would be teatime .

We used to have takeaway but our would mainly be Indian but we would be ‘( me) ‘ I’ve ordered it & dishing it up so you can go to the door ‘ :rofl:

I get you you know , when I’m in bed on my own ? Although you can feel them missing , it’s sometimes feels less lonely then when you are with people going through the motions? Maybe because in some way although it magnifys they are not there we feel closer to them somehow & if we do want to cry or scream we can do the pressure of pretending is lifted ? :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2: xxx

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23

We had a holiday booked in May with our dog, a cottage with fishing lake for him, and so many people have said to me, go on your own with the dog. As if. How can they imagine I could stick a week in a cottage, away from home, when he was supposed to be there, enjoying himself, fishing, taking the dog for walks. They have no comprehension.

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24

Ah we loved an Indian too. Our order was the same every single time :rofl:
We’d both always get a chicken jalfrezi, the Indian in our village does it quite hot so he’d spend the next day moaning he had a dodgy belly :rofl:

I’m probably going to sound like a nutter now but I really miss a hug so I’ve got his hoody and put it over a pillow so I can hug it :see_no_evil:
I’ve got nearly a full bottle of his aftershave here so it smells like him too. WTH is grief doing to me? I tell myself that I’ve got to find comfort where I can and it does surprisingly make me feel a little better. I talk to him a lot even though I know he can’t hear me. I hope nobody I know ever notices it because they would probably think I’ve lost my marbles but I feel ok to say it on here. I think grief makes us crazy tbh :pensive:

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25

@AngelinaH

They really don’t have any idea sadly like when friend told me they were coming up to Manchester @ taking me out - like I want to sit opposite another couple !! Xxx

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26

Yes I think going alone would just amplify his absence even more :broken_heart:
It’s not as easy as just carrying on as we were :pensive:

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27

We had the same or a pathia occasionally!!! :rofl:

You don’t sound daft , I sleep with something I of Brys & kiss it good night & hug it so tight. I talk
to him out loud all the time & I type to him and add photos using ‘notes’ on my phone , it just gets how I feel out!! :roll_eyes::roll_eyes::sleepy::sleepy:xxx

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28

I agree, people have no idea - an elderly neighbour of mine actually asked if I was thinking of finding someone else!!! It’s only been 5 months since I lost Mark and I miss him every minute of every day.
I get very jealous and upset seeing other couples and feel like I will never fit in with my couples friends again :pensive:

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29

@Jenny6

Really !!! As if someone would say that. :rage::rage:

I feel the same we did lots of weekend breaks with our ‘couple friends’ that’s never happening again . Xxxx

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30

Even before his funeral I had people saying to me “oh but you’re young” :roll_eyes:
meaning young enough to start again. The problem is I don’t want to start again, I just wish he was still here :broken_heart:
He was absolutely perfect for me.
And regardless of the fact I’m young he should have had another twenty years ahead of him at least. I’m not just grieving him I’m sad that he didn’t get to do the things he planned to do too :sob:

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31

@LostLil

:broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart::broken_heart: xxx

32

3 days after the funeral somone actually made a pass at me. I could not believe it! Someone who should know better. And another male (relative) actually said, ah well, a beautiful woman like you won’t be on her own for long. It’s like when your dog dies and people say get another one. Or you lose a child and people say have another one. What is going on in people’s heads that they say such things.

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33

@AngelinaH

I literally have no words :rage::rage::rage::rage::rage::rage: xxx

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34

@AngelinaH

In saying that I have a friend ( male) that knew is both and feel like he’s trying to use my heartbreak to make a move if that makes sense :woman_shrugging:t2: I could be wrong but ……. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: xxx

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35

Stands a chance. I think some men just think you’re available now, you’re a widow so you’re fair game and maybe even missing the sex so you might even be grateful. I don’t know what goes on in their heads, I’m sure.

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