So I lost my dad on 1st December 2017. It was very sudden. I’m 26 and my dad was 50.
Following him passing I kept myself very busy with arranging the funeral then of course we had Christmas then his birthday and then new year. So I always had something to focus on and work towards.
Now this is all over I am really worried about facing reality. I still can’t believe he is gone and I’ll never have him back in my life. I was always a daddy’s girl and turned to my dad for everything. He had all the answers to my problems. He was literally the best dad in the world!
I was due to go back to work yesterday (following being signed off from work for a month by my GP) I made it into work but come lunch time I had to leave. The last time I was at work was when I got the call to say he had gone. It was all to much. All my colleagues were apologising and sending their condolences to me. I just couldn’t focus on my work and I had no idea what I was doing. My boss had told me just to get on with it as I’ll be better off at work than at home. But i just felt as though i needed to be at home.
The past few days I’ve felt different. I feel as though my dad’s passing is finally sinking in and I have no idea what to do with myself. I don’t know how to process these feelings.
I struggle to let my emotions out and open up to people. I only really think over things and cry when I’m alone. This is partly because no one understands. My friends still have their parents and I don’t know many other people that have had to go through loosing a parent so young.
I feel as though I’m pressured to get back to work as most people around me are telling me this would be the best thing to do?
My heart is breaking and I just feel so helpless.