Loosing our son

Lost our son to bile duct cancer 4 months ago. I was diagnosed with PTSD I am really struggling with nauseous and anxiety. Any help would be appreciated.


Hello @Helen73 ,

I’m so sorry to hear about your son. It sounds as though things are very difficult at the moment and you are struggling with anxiety and PTSD.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

Another good place to get support is The Compassionate Friends - for families who have lost a child of any age. 0345 123 2304 https://www.tcf.org.uk/

Take care - keep reaching out,


I am really struggling crying a lot of the time. My heart is broken I just don’t seem to be getting any better. I try and distract myself but it doesn’t help. I would like to talk to people who have lost a child because even though he was an adult he was still my child. I miss him so much


I lost my 32 year old son 2 years ago, I’ve cried everyday, I can’t accept he’s (gone) my world has crumbled


Dear Helen
I lost my son 6 months ago to bile duct cancer. It happened so quickly we still cannot believe what happened. I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so very hard to carry on but carry on we must especially for other family around us.
Regards Caroline

Thank you for your message, I sorry for your loss. We do have to carry on best we can, but it’s very difficult as you know

Dear Carline I really feel for you, it also happened very quick for our son. We were waiting for results of various tests and then he died suddenly. I am really struggling. How are you managing to get through the days? Sending love & hugs

The same here Helen. Andrew had a cough that got progressively worse. He had a biopsy on the Monday, had an internal bleed which led to a cardiac arrest on the Tuesday. He was in ICU for 3 days and on the Friday passed away. He was 36 years old. He never even got the results of his biopsy. I had heard of cancer taking people quickly but this was just so sudden. He had Ulcerative Colitis and PSC and this led to this type of cancer. The hospital tried everything to save him.
I am devastated by our loss and miss him more and more as the weeks go on. Our lives have changed forever. Andrew has a 9 year old son who misses his Daddy.
Some days are a little better than others but then something will trigger a memory and wham we are back to square one. I think this is our life now.
I walk a lot, potter around the garden, read and have started decorating. I need to be distracted and keep busy.
Take care and keep strong.

Hi Caroline my son was being sick a lot so we spent 18 hours in A & E he was misdiagnosed with gastritis and sent home. The second trip to A &E was a 30hour wait before they found him a bed, He was still being sick and now had jaundice, they did various tests, he spent Christmas and New Year in hospital we spent most of the time with him. He contacted sepsis and died in February. He was 38 years old and we are heartbroken, life will never be the same again

Hi Helen
It is so hard to accept that your beautiful child has gone. Every morning when I wake up I think did that really happen and then you realise it did. I talk to Andrew all the time. I push myself to do things to meet up with others. My happy house with so many wonderful memories seems a sad place at the moment. The laughter seems to be gone, and there was so much laughter.
I am hopeful that in time this constant ache will ease a little. I need to look outwards to be there for my family to enjoy the little things and carry on. This grief is a very heavy burden and is very tiring. Our lives have changed forever .
Take care Helen and everyone else.
Luv Caroline

Hi I haven’t posted for a long time. I find it very difficult, it’s 6 months since we lost our son to bile duct cancer. I have been feeling numb and have only recently started to grief properly. I feel nauseous all the time and on medication for anxiety and depression. I motivation is low and don’t know what to do with myself I miss my son so much.

How are other people coping with their loss. Any advice would be helpful. I know I need to cope with this but how?

Hi Helen it is now 8 months since Andrew left us and it is not really getting any easier. I have some better days and then it is back to square one. I think we have to take each day as it comes and get through them. Andrew had a lot of setbacks in his life but would always carry on, although it could be hard for him. I miss Andrew so much, his smile, his laugh his voice it is hard to accept he has gone. I wake up in the morning and for one moment the world seems ok and then I remember my beautiful boy has gone. I am sitting here now with Andrew’s son and I know I have to carry on for him, my daughter and my other grandchildren. I walk a lot, do jigsaws, write down my thoughts, read books on how other parents survived. I know I have been drinking more alcohol and have started to cut down.
Take care Helen Andrew died of the same cancer of the bile ducts. Take each hour at a time, cry when you want, smile if you can, eat regularly and look after yourself x

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So sorry for your loss, i too lost my 27 uear old son last week and i want to speak to someone who has gone through this pain to help me find some peace x

Hi Ruby3 I am very sorry for your loss. This is very painful time for you. I vaguely remember going through the motions of the funeral, I left it to my family to organise I was put on medication because I couldn’t cope. I am still struggling and having private counselling which I find very helpful, having someone to help me through all the different emotions. What I have learned is that there are no short cuts to grieving, you have to take every day/every hour as it comes. I am sending you lots of love and hugs.

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Hi Helen73
Thank you for replying, my sincere thoughts are with you.
I find it hard to be jokey as everyone else is. My son was an entertainer and made us all laugh.
I am just happy sitting on my own watching rubbish tv where no one can judge or talk to me.
I jave talked to a few family members and ny son’s fiancee but i dont want to do normal things.
I will have counselling at some point and im glad u sed it helps, thank you.
Take care and big hug for you xx

You are right Helen there are no shortcuts we all have to do this in our own time, and in the way that suits us best.
I am so sorry for your loss Ruby3 and it is so recent. I remember going around in a state of bewilderment and shock when Andrew died. Planning a funeral and all that entails. It is like we are on autopilot. Take care both of you xx

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Hi Caroline, I lost my cousin in 2018 she too had PSC, my thoughts are with you x