loosing Paul

Ian 62 years old and lost my husband Paul in August last year…We were teenage partners and had been together 49 years…lam not coping very well at all…l miss him so much…The pain in my heart and soul is unbearable


Hello @ambercleo1 - I am so sorry that Paul died and that you feel so very, very low. I know how difficult this is and my heart goes out to you. I am nearly 1 year in and the void, Tom’s absence, doesn’t get any smaller. I reckon you are coping better than you think. Just getting up everyday, figuring out what to wear, what to eat, in grief, is a big achievement. I think as we start the week, Paul would want you to do something nice for yourself. I know it is easily said - but maybe give it a try. I am looking out at the snow-covered mountains and planning to nip out for a quick ski - as I know Tom would be encouraging me to do that. So maybe we do something nice for ourselves together today? Hold tight, my friend, it gets easier, not perfect, not back to how it was, but easier to bear. x


Hi @ambercleo1
So sorry you have needed to join us due to losing your Paul.

You have had a reply already from @Vancouver who, in my experience, seems to come out with great advice.
I am 8 1/2 months since losing my husband suddenly, after we both thought he was extremely fit and well.
Yes, it’s still hard but is easier than it was. Life will never be the same after losing the love of our lives but there is still some sort of life to be had.
There are so many aspects to this awful grief and the early, disbelief and shock can be so debilitating. Take it easy and as Vancouver says, realise that everything you manage is an achievement.

This forum is at least here with people who have experienced similar. Yes, everyone’s grief is individual but we do at least understand the enormity of the loss.

Sending love and hug. xxx

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