Hi I’m new on here, feel it time to start reaching out on how to cope with my grief. I lost my mum 2 years ago to pancreatic cancer, iit was very sudden and since then I have just blocked out how I feel as my heart feels like it’s going to explode with pain. I cared for my mum while she was sick for a week and then was with her when she passed I watch the only person who ever understud me slip away right in front of me and it’s haunting me. How do I cope in the world without her in it
My mum died in November, similar situation, very sudden with a short illness.
I’ve spent time “talking” to mum, when I’m driving, when I’m cooking, any empty time when I’m alone I often talk to my mum. Just update her on boring life occurrences. Helps me feel close to her, not sure if it would help you but it sure helps me.
hello @Saraalex , i’m much newer into the grief journey than you but also lost my mam to pancreatic cancer. i am still in desbelief about how quickly it took her away from us. i have heard that grief can come back at any stage of your life, and i think this is especially true of people who were in a caring capacity - we were on firefighting mode for so long, it takes a while for the grief to show itself to us.
i’ve been telling myself it’s about making it through one day at a time. i find that i need to lean into whatever im feeling, be that tearful, anger, or something else altogether, and i feel better afterwards. i love a good cry. i love talking about my mam still, looking at photos. and then going for a walk, spending time in nature. i’ve been working through it with counselling too.
i found these tips on the general bereavement page helpful - Tips that have helped me
but mostly, time and patience as rubbish as it is. i also tell myself that grief is the price i paid for love, and i wouldn’t have loved her any less even with the pain.
take care of yourself x
1 Like