On the 20th of October I lost my love suddenly. We had a complicated relationship that lasted 5 years but in recent months we were making changes and plans to move in together. He died suddenly and I have since found out his family didn’t agree with our relationship and have said I don’t deserve to grieve as I meant nothing to him. I’m not coping - turning to drunk - they have said I can’t see him in the chapel of rest. I don’t know how I’m ever going to feel happy again. He did love me and I loved him. I feel so alone right now. I’m trying to be strong but can’t see how I can be.
I really feel for you. About 5 weeks ago I lost my wife of 24 years, my soul mate. It was a roller coaster of a life together but we made it work. Some people said we should have given up on it years ago, but we never did, It was our right to chose what we wanted and from what i can see his family should not have any right to impact how you grieve your loss.
After my wife passed away I saw her in the chapel of rest, at the time I thought it was the right thing to do. But now in some ways I wish I hadn’t because she looked so sad. I would much rather remember her with the smile she had the last time I saw her alive as we said goodbye as I got into the taxi to go to the airport on a work related trip. She passed away shortly before I was getting on the plane to return home. A nightmare that never goes away because of the what ifs because I wasn’t there for her…
I don’t want to lecture, but please see if a doctor can give you an alternative to drink. It was starting drinking as a stress reliever that eventually killed my wife. For strength just reflect that you did love each other regardless what others may think
Take care
Trevor
You absolutely deserve to grieve! There is nobody who can take that away from you. Your feelings are yours, not anybody else’s. Nobody needs to somehow earn the right to grieve! It is all our rights as human beings to feel how we feel about anything and anybody.
I can’t help with the grief process as I only lost my brother 2 days ago so this is new to me, but just wanted to reassure you that your feelings are completely valid!
You must be strong and stand up to these heartless people. We all need to grieve, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Losing someone you love is like losing half of you and it’s important to go through the horrible process at your own pace. It never ceases to amaze me how unkind some people can be. Kind regards, and stay strong.