I recently lost a very close friend. We were partners briefly 50 years ago but remained friends throughout our lives and shared intimate parts of our lives. My friend emigrated 30 years ago but our friendship remained despite the distance. We shared the same spirit and souls and we knew each other so well. He was kind and wise, a great councel when things were tough but always straight talking and never afraid to tell me if he thought I was wrong. Most of our shared friends are in the past and as we lived so far apart, we didn’t have the same friends and acquaintances. I have no one to talk to about him and to share memories with. I find it it’s all locked inside until something sparks a memory and then the grief takes over. He did have a terminal illness so we did have an opportunity to sort of say goodbye but the end was much sooner than expected. There’s also not been a memorial or funeral.
Hello @AliMax,
I’m Harriet, and I can see you’re new to the community. I’m so sorry for the loss of your close friend. It sounds like you had a very special friendship and bond over many years, and it’s completely understandable that his loss feels so painful. I can imagine it must be difficult that the end came sooner than expected, and that there has been no memorial or funeral. I’m also sorry that you don’t have shared friends to talk about him with.
I’m sure that someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you might want to look at some of Sue Ryder resources which can help you to cope with your grief.
- Our Losing a friend support page
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I really hope you find the community to be a support to you too. Please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone 
Harriet
Hi AliMax, I am sorry to hear about your close friend. I’m not surprised you are suffering as he was obviously an amazing person and some who was integral to your happiness. I hope you find some solace here as there are a lot of people who have lost friends, family and partners who understand the pain you are feeling. If you want to chat about your friend don’t hesitate in messaging me
Wishing you all the best
Tom
