Hi as I’m writing this I’m in so much pain and crying. I lost the love of my life on March 16th 2023. He was my bestfriend, my everything and most importantly my comfort that’s what I called him because whenever we were together or I spoke to him I felt safe. He had kidney failure and has been on dialysis for 2 years. He died from sepsis. He was only 28.Kidney failure is a death sentence It was so sudden because one minute he was fine the next minute he wasn’t. He was in the hospital for a week and 3 days before dying but it came as a shock as they said he was responding to treatment and they said he should be discharged within the same week after hearing that I had peace. Then 2 days later I hear he’s dead. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him or see him and it causes me so much anguish. I don’t really feel like he’s gone but at the same time I feel so empty. The last thing he said to me is that he’ll be back soon and he still loves me and will always love me. I just want him back. I can’t cope. People are saying I’m still young and I will find love again but I can’t even imagine it? I want to have all those memories with him, have a family and get married to him no one else. I don’t know what to do, none of my friends really understand because they haven’t experienced this before they compare it to relationship heartbreak but this doesn’t feel like this. The permanence is unsettling. I don’t want to feel this pain anymore, when I think about life it’s like I still have such a long time here and I don’t know what to do with it. When I’m in public I cry, I try to go to work and end up crying, I feel myself detiorating and I’m scared. His family live far away.my family have given me support but there’s this African mentality like he wasn’t my husband we weren’t married it’s sad but I’ll find love again and get married someday.I need help I need support I feel so alone. I don’t know what to do
Hi
I had to reply to your post firstly I’m so sorry for you loss. I went through the same pain back in 95 I too lost my boyfriend & my unborn baby lost his daddy, just six days apart my boyfriend died 25 June 1995 I gave birth too our son 1st July 95 . I can’t tell you the emotions that I experienced my heart was absolutely broken and I had the baby and just felt so weird he was perfect yet he was totally unaware of the sadness that surrounds us .
My baby boy gave me the strength to get through and he was my reason to fight everyday .
All I can say is time is the only healer you will never ever forget but you will find a way too enjoy life again that I promise, it took me 3 yrs of deep hurt & Greif too realise it’s ok for me too feel happiness again .
You will never ever forget him or the date of his death , but it will become more bearable. There are no words that will ease your pain but keep reaching out , don’t keep them feelings going around in your head , any way God bless and stay strong .X
@LQOL
So sorry you are in this position. There is no easy answer. Death of a loved one is cruel, shocking and if you haven’t been through it, it’s something you will never understand. On here is a community that does understand and can listen and offer support. It won’t take your pain away but I promise in time it will get a bit easier and you will find ways to get through each day. This isn’t an easy journey and one you didn’t choose to make but you’ will get through each day.
I’m so sorry for your loss. He was so young 
I lost my partner of seventeen years on the 15th of March completely out of the blue. I’ve never felt grief like it and I know I never will again.
I’m 38 and I’ve had people say to me “oh but you’re young” implying that it’s easier for me to move on from my grief than it is for an older person. He was my everything, I thought we would grow old together. I don’t know what life without him is going to be like.We weren’t married either but no bit of paper could have made me love him anymore.
It’s hard and I have no idea how I’m going to cope without him but I hope we find a way x
@LQOL I thought i was young, becoming a widow at 47. Im so sorry your in this club none of us should be in. I have this forum to be so supportive, you are not on your own. Lots of love
heartbreaking, so very sorry xxx
My boyfriend died 3 weeks ago. He was 38. I’m 36. My absolute world and I can’t imagine a future without him. I found a message the other day from when we first met saying “this is it until death now. I’ve fallen for you like a block of concrete” 
such a way with words but we fell hard and fast and knew that we were in it for the long haul. I’m heartbroken our forever with the person we’d both waited for has neen so cruely cut short.
That’s so sad , I’m so very sorry . I was only with Bry a short time before we married, we were just e to be and I hate life without him
It’s hard but Thank you means alot, what is the forum called?xx
I feel you it’s very hard🥲how are you feeling now ?xx
I really get you sorry for your loss also how are you feeling now?xx
I get you , I feel like I’m dying a slow & painful death
@LQOL
So sorry you have the need for this forum but we will be here for you.
Picking up on one point from your post
Whether or not you will find love again in the future has no bearing on the intensity of this loss and is irrelevant. You need to feel free to grieve for your lost love in your own time.
I know I was guilty of not understanding the enormity of this partner loss until my darling husband of nearly 29 years died last April. I don’t expect to ‘get over’ this loss but hope I can carry it more lightly as the years pass.
Feel free to shout, cry, beat up the nearest cushion and do whatever feels right to you. Share anything on here and you will find support.
Love
Karen xxx