Losing a partner/friend

My ex partner of 3 years just recently passed aged 23 and I would really some advice on ways of coping with bereavement. I’ve been very fortunate to have not lost a loved one prior to this and I am struggling with the feelings and how to get through this difficult time. Although we weren’t together at this time of his passing I have a lot of anger and guilt towards myself for not doing more or keeping in touch even when he tried to but I have read this is a common feeling so would really appreciate any advice anyone can give me especially from others who have suffered the same loss or experienced the same feelings, thank you.

Hi Skylar,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m very sorry to hear that your ex partner recently passed away. Even though you weren’t together at the time, it sounds like this was a significant relationship in your life and it’s understandable that you are struggling with the feelings you’re experiencing.

Guilt and anger are two very common emotions that people experience when grieving. Often we think back and get stuck on things that we did or didn’t do in the past. You’re not alone in this and it’s something that others in this community have talked about. We have an article about coping with griefthat you might find helpful to have a read through - it explains the common emotions associated with bereavement and how to manage them.

The most important thing though is to be kind to yourself and take things at your own pace. Take the time to think about your ex partner and talk to those around you (friends, family, or this community) about how you’re feeling.

Best wishes,
Online Community Manager

Hi my names alan it would of been my partner jayne’s birthday yesterday and for first few months i was struggling as i think it the shock if was sudden like hers was as was fine end of august and died early november but something will happen to you which will be like a switch what makes you get strength to cope and mine was way her grown up children have treated me over house i lived with her for nearly 12 years by insulting me time and time again from and made me determined to stand up for myself as i was looking after her and having sleepless nights while they were in there own homes without a care in the world and final insult was offerring me bed she died in and said thats all i could have and something will happen to help you get the motivation to cope and you will have bad days like i did as was coming up to her birthday i struggled, but have something to concentrate on and mine is my disabled adult son who come to live with me in march so i focus on him, so even if helping a family member etc to help you get through a bad times you will have just have a focus to help you get through it.