Losing a partner

Every day I feel terrible and just want to cry. It is 3 months since my husband died, and I feel so alone. We were married for 63 years
I met him when I was just 16 and married at 19. I have 2 sons living near, but they have busy lives and I don’t want to burden them with how I am feeling. Life is totally different now and I don’t know how to cope.

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I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your husband, @Unforgettable. You are still in the early days of grieving and were married for 63 years so it is completely understandable that you’re finding things difficult. I want you to know that you’re not alone and you are not a burden to anyone. There’s always someone out there to help you through this.

Please do keep reaching out to the community. You can also reach out to one of the following organisations who are always just a call or text away anytime you would like someone to talk to:

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.
  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here.
  • If you’re worried you’re going to hurt yourself, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.

If you’re interested in counselling, we offer free sessions at Sue Ryder. You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area. We have also recently launched a Grief Guide Service, which provides articles and interactive tools to help you cope with grief. If you’re interested in understanding more about grief and how you can manage it, please visit griefguide.sueryder.org

You deserve this support, keep reaching out.

Take care,

Seaneen

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I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful to have 63 years together. You must have so many happy memories. But also so much love and I don’t think that ever dies. X

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Thank you for your reply. I certainly have so many memories but at the moment they make me cry for losing him. We were a wonderful team and shared so much together. I feel so empty and lost. I wake up every night at 3 am and just cannot get back to sleep for thinking of the terrible time he had the last 10 weeks of his life

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I find it hard to access the happy memories without sadness and pain too. I guess that’s the deal but I’m hopeful because sometimes I get one that makes me smile. I’m determined that my memory of him can’t just be one of sadness. Its not a reflection of our life. Not quite sure how to do that right enough. A lot of the time I just feel there is no point at all, but I hope and I trust he’s here within me somewhere. I hope you can find that too. Xx

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