My Mum died in October 22 following 2 strokes. She was in a care home and I diligently visited her every week. I really struggled with losing Mum as we had no warning but I had responsibility for Dad, so I really had to pull on my big girl pants and get on with life with no real opportunity to grieve her passing .
Then 6mths later my Dad died of a broken heart.
He lost his will to live, his soul mate and love of his life. Lockdown exacerbated vascular dementia for him.
I visited him every week, did his shopping, laundry and cooked his meals and did my best to jolly him along, even when I did not feel at all jolly or happy myself.
I now have a huge void in my life and lots of administrative paperwork to deal with.
I had to arrange the funeral & cremation for both of them. I daunting and highly emotional task the first time but equally as traumatic the second time.
I was left with Power of Attorney and Executor of both their wills and a house to empty and the heartbreaking task of disposing of their belongings and ultimately,sell.
I am struggling with my emotions, sleep, eating, what to do first and how to move forward with my feelings and my life.
Any advice or strategies will be welcome because at the moment I’m constantly shuffling paperwork relating to either of my parents and I’m struggling to find headspace to consider my own grieving and moving forward to a better place than I am at the moment.
Hi, I am sorry for your situation. Losing both your parents in a short space of time must be so difficult. I can very much empathise with the emotional turmoil of having to deal with the estate after losing a loved one. I’m the Executor of my Mum’s estate and four months on, it’s still not over. I found I had to really grit my teeth to go through all the paperwork in the early days. My brother helped with clearing of our Mum’s house but I’ve had to do all the admin. My Mum asked me to be her Executor when she wrote her will and I completely underestimated how hard it would be to carry out all the admin at the same time as grieving. Every letter that arrives sends me into a spiral of grief. Obviously I get on with it but it’s so stressful. I just keep thinking that I’m doing it for my Mum, making her proud of me. I think it’s just a case of taking things one day at a time…still, and not putting too many expectations on ourselves. Grief is life changing and we need time to adapt. Best wishes xxx