Losing dad and dealing with everything

Hi all, my dad died v late on Friday night. I haven’t stopped since due to me living 30 miles away. We found out he is a hoarder and it seems like no will is in place.

I am only 36 and this feels so heavy but at the same time I’m not feeling much… some anger, some pangs of oh I must ring dad… however we had a very fractured relationship due to abüs3 and mental health issues.

Am I bad because I’m not overly emotional, I stayed with him for over 10 hours watching him just fight (peacefully but his says kept changing)…then he went when we took my guide dog out for a wee.

I feel like everything is just being pushed into my belly. Like I’m not processing anything apart from what I have to do next. So fearful about putting a foot wrong with the estate and having to clear his very awful house .

Am I somehow broken… I’ve not slept properly in 6 days and emergency gp proscribed zopiclone but not taken it yet as I’m so overwhelmed with everything.

Dad was a hoarder and to a degree a shut in… he did everything for people on his street yet nothing in return. They judge and gossip…

The support I have is my amazing wife and mum in law. I feel awful though as we lost my beloved father in law 2 years ago and I feel this is bringing it all back.

Thanks for holding this space for me

1 Like

Sorry to hear this, Em.

I started worrying about the estate before it was necessary. Martin Lewis, gov.uk and citizens advice all give good advice on what’s needed and when. There is a lot to get your head around. You can message me if you’d like.

But I wouldn’t worry about that until after the funeral. :yellow_heart:

1 Like