My dad passed around 2 weeks ago now at home peacefully and I got to say my goodbyes and spend a little more time with him, which was all I could ever ask for but I’m so confused about my feelings. Sometimes I’m really okay, calm and happy about memories with Dad. Then occasionally I will cry and just think about all the things we wont do anymore. Part of myself thinks I’m just distracting myself or just perhaps ignoring everything? Or seeing my mum be so distraught over the loss am I just putting myself into support mode to help her. I’m just so confused, am I meant to be more sad? It’s just a roller coaster I don’t know how to navigate. Anyway I don’t know if anyone can understand. I mean my Dad was in my life for all 30 years of my life, I’m so thankful I got that amount of time so I’m trying to turn things into being thankful about it all. Anyway I’m rambling and just thanks for reading my ramble.
Hi @Bee27,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
Alex
Hi Bee27, I’m sorry for your loss, I understand how you feel. I too lost my dad to cancer on 06/10/25 and it hurts like hell, but there is no right or wrong way to grief your dad. And it’s ok to go through the mixed emotions, to laugh, to cry, to scream, it’s all part of the healing process. Just remember to be kind to yourself and don’t put yourself under the pressure of expectations. I hope this has helped.
Hi,
First, I want to say that I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent absolutely sucks.
I lost my dad in June 2023 after an 18 month battle with bowel cancer. I got 19 brilliant years with him, and I’m now at the point where I can look back on my memories with him fondly, instead of wanting to break down and cry.
Grief is a funny thing. It took me four months to properly cry about my dad dying, and that was only because it hit me that I was turning 20 and he wasn’t there. I genuinely made a terrible joke about him missing a predicted heatwave while he was on his deathbed (he thought it was hilarious). I still don’t think it’s truly sunk in, I’m still reaching for the phone to call him, and if I see a funny meme, my first instinct is to send it to him. But there is no correct way to grieve. Everyone does it differently, I’ve always been the type to go into support mode and repress my emotions until they burst out.
The most important thing is that you realise it’s okay to feel what you feel. I hope you’re doing as well as you can be.
Thank you so much to reaching out it’s nice to know in a weird way that are others like myself dealing with similar things. I hope you’re doing the best you can too, I don’t know if this is something you’d be up for doing but I wanted to kind of make a little support group through some sort of platform, I know were all strangers but sometimes it helps to reach out to people that we know are going through a similar thing and help each other. I just feel stuck sometimes can’t talk to my mum or brother about things because they just cry. It’s okay though I’m okay (at least thats what I’m telling myself)
Hey Elks, thank you so much for reaching out. I am so sorry for your loss I hope you’re doing as well as you can be. I think I have delt to my grief in a similar sort of way through humour. Recently I’ve been okay but I had a moment when I found something I bought him from my Scotland trip and he never got to wear it and suddenly burst out crying. But the day before we went to collect his ashes and I was completely fine and making a joke about how heavy he was etc. Even would make fun of him on his deathbed too and he’d laugh. My dad he’d hate us crying at things he didnt get it as he wasn’t in touch with his emotions (in his mind he was a manly man that doesnt cry - old school boy thinking). So I’m like Dad wouldn’t want me to sit here and sob and thinking about the happy times, which I am doing! Although I’m looking forward to Christmas in a way I know when it gets here it will feel strange (even thought he’d let mum buy the presents and just turn up). I miss him so when I want to reach out to him I message him on WhatsApp even though I know he won’t respond just telling him about stuff sometimes helps in the weirdest way. Anyway thanks again for reaching out, I was saying before to the other lovely person who responded I was thinking of creating a support group perhaps on Facebook or Instagram or something to help each other and that if it’s something you’d be interested in. I just would like people who know what it’s like around me and me them to help each other. Anyway hope your having a lovely day. 