Losing Dad

I’m new here having lost my dad a week ago today. I don’t even know where to begin.
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in the last couple of years and my fear was always my dad becoming ill. He’d struggled with mobility and breathlessness for quite a long time and and I’d nagged and nagged him to go to the GP which he reluctantly agreed to before Christmas (2022). This resulted in a quick referral to hospital and a diagnosis of lung cancer (a large tumour in the left lung). He’d never smoked a day in his life so came as a great shock. We were told it wasn’t curable but found ourselves at Northern General speaking to one of the surgeons who suddenly said they could remove it. April 2023 he went in for the op only to be told he wasn’t well enough. They discharged him five days later for optimising for surgery. From that point on we heard nothing at all. As a result of poor health, dad had two falls resulting in hospital stays. The first time no one even contemplated getting the lung team involved as they were treating a head injury. Almost 4 months from being discharged from Northern General, he was given a CT scan and we were called in to be told it had grown and he had weeks/ months to live. Needless to say I’m furious that a sick man was left with no follow up. He had a fall at home less than a fortnight ago after 4 attempts to get an ambulance for him. He was admitted to hospital and seemed to be doing a bit better but then two days later I arrive for a visit and get asked if I knew how poorly he was that day (dr had tried to call once from a withheld number and never even left a message). I walked to to see dad in a four bed bay - gasping for breath in front of other people. He was moved to a side room and told how sick he was. I walked into the hospital with biscuits and a paper at 4.15 and by 6.06 gone. No one preps you for that death rattle. He passed holding my hand and squeezing it. I’m absolutely bereft. We’ve since had to tell my mum my dad has died so there’s all that trauma too.
I fully intend to challenge the hospital on his care. It won’t bring him back but I’d like to know why no one followed up on a very sick man.


My Dad died suddenly 3 weeks ago . It’s still raw . Very different to your situation i know but please message me if you need to talk .
I’m so sorry for your loss . I truly mean it . Xx

1 Like

So sorry this happened. Definitely contact PALS who will review his care. I had to do this for my Dad and it did help a bit.

I lost my Dad on Wednesday. Very similar circumstances to you. He was my best friend and l am completely devasted. I have a massive void in my life.

He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer 5 months ago, when it was very treatable. They did nothing! I have been fighting for months to get treatment. He saw another consultant a month ago, who did nothing.

I fought and fought, called the hospital, many times, no reply from ENT.

He was admitted to hospital 2 weeks ago, they gave him antibiotics for an infection, l pleaded with them to do something about his cancer. They then missed his scan, whilst he was in hospital, then missed a blood test.

They discharged him with no papers on Friday last week. He collapsed at the weekend and back in hospital on Tuesday.

We were told after more tests he had pneumonia and should of stayed in hospital on antibiotics. They told me what l already knew that he was poorly but didn’t say he was likey to die

Wednesday he was gone.

The doctor l saw last on Tuesday evening in Southend A&E was disgusted about my Dads treatment and added to his notes.

I am also pursuing the two consultants who are 100% negligent.

If this helps, you can request all his patient notes, get as much as you can. The link is on PALS. Once l have these l will pursue them with a medical negligence solicitor.

I want them to be accountanle for what they have done, or haven’t in my case.

Early days for me but l am using my total grief to pursue these consultants

An absolute catalogue of errors, and the above is not all the errors.

I am totally destroyed but l won’t stop and will pursue them for my lovely Dad. I will not stop, ever!

I am happy to update you and exchange ideas and ways to move forward with you if it helps.

I know my Dad would be here today if they had done something. I know it. They know it. I am shouting it from the rooftops to everyone l can. They must know by now l am coming for them.